Tag: religion

Where You Are, Is Exactly Where You Need To Be

Published on by jkblog2013Leave a comment

After my last post, I felt a sense of accomplishment. I posted something to my site that was overdue. It really meant a lot to me. As the days went on, I then felt this odd sense of writers block. How do I follow up from the last post? Will it be as interesting?

In the past, I would have these conversations in my head. They would lead me to start writing to only end up not producing anything. It is a frustrating part of anything artistic. You feel a sense of accomplishment. Then you struggle to just put something, anything together, as you become your own worst critic.

Divine Timing and Manifestation

Before writing this post, I was drawn to the sentence of the post’s title. I’ve seen this sentence in many texts lately and have heard these exact words in other mediums. I equate this title to divine timing. I’m now doing research into divine timing as it gives me a better understanding of manifestation and synchronicity. Divine timing is the belief that everything in your life occurs at exactly the right moment.

Manifestation is the idea that, through the power of belief, we can effectively “think” a goal into reality. Sounds easy right? But it is much more complicated than that. I remember watching a video where someone equated manifestation as placing an order with the universe. After placing your order, you wait for it to arrive. The analogy used was that of ordering food in a restaurant. The waiter (Universe) takes the order, gives it to the cook, and the cook prepares the meal. Once it is ready, you get your meal, aka manifestation. I know that things manifest when you’re ready. The universe must also be ready for you to receive it.

Divine timing encourages trust. The universe is guiding you towards what’s best for you. This trust remains even when you face challenges or delays. So sometimes, your order may take awhile. You have to be okay with waiting for it. It will come when it’s ready.

Before I had my spiritual awakening, I had moments where things would happen when I internally asked for it. It was like a wish coming true moment. Not that it happened immediately, but it would eventually come to me. I never understood those moments until now. I would like to share a moment I had back in 2010 that happened very quickly.

Washington D.C. – 2009

I moved to the Washington D.C. in late 2009. It was meant to be a great move for my career. It also allowed me to be closer to my family. Instead, it was a depressing time of my life. I didn’t want to dwell on it during this transition. I had moved from a Houston, Texas. Houston is very hot but during the winter months, the weather was very comfortable. I spent five years enjoying the warm winters and it was an abrupt change when I moved to D.C. It was cold and I was living in a dark, no frills apartment. Moving from a single-family home to an apartment was arduous. When I finally settled in, I found no excitement in being in that apartment. I felt stuck and found reasons to not be at “home”. This was also a time when the real estate market collapsed. I could not find a buyer for my house in Houston. I was stuck with rent and a mortgage. My budget was lean to say the least. Even during this lean time, I would find ways to spend time outside of my apartment. It was too depressing to be in.

The Capitol Building.

I think about it now and laugh in my head about how sad it was. I figured things would get better once my house was sold. I started to have feelings of regret for moving to D.C. but I wasn’t allowing it to take over my emotions. In my head, I was giving myself at least a year. I wanted to get situated before deciding to possibly move again.

The highlight at the end of 2009 was having Thanksgiving with my family in New York. It was the first Thanksgiving with my family in six years. It felt great driving up. I remember a feeling of euphoria as I drove through very little traffic to get to my parents’ house. It was a memorable Thanksgiving and I was grateful to be back in New York. Then on that Sunday after Thanksgiving, I decided to drive back and encountered the worst drive back to D.C. ever. I learned that was the worst time to drive anywhere.

I got back “home” and got back to work at my new job. There was a snowstorm in December that was cool and I remember enjoying it. But then came more snowstorms. In February 2010, Snowmaggedon hit D.C.

Snowmaggedon

During those two weeks of Snowmaggedon, I remember working just three days. I was not happy to be in my apartment. I was in solitude with no cable, just basic tv. Internet was different then. I couldn’t stream shows or binge watch TV series. My apartment wasn’t very well insulated so the heat could only heat so much.

An actual photo from the cleanup from Snowmaggedon 2010.

After each passing snow storm, I would spend hours digging my car out from all the snow. I made sure to dig out the car when the snow was soft as it would harden the next day. I also did not want to break my shovel. I had cleared out my car multiple times. I went out with my shovel when the snow storm stopped. I also went out when it would lighten up. It was crazy how much snow we had that winter. I would even go out at night because I wasn’t sleeping well.

This is not my car but eerily similar to it. This picture was taken in Washington D.C. during Snowmaggedon, Feb. 2010.

I was also so bored that I cleared out the sidewalk to the building. This allowed my neighbors to walk into the building without slipping. They do not have to step into thick snow.

I remember feeling alone. I didn’t have any friends in the area. I only just started to meet my co-workers. I also didn’t want my family to worry about me, so I just gave canned responses that all was well.

I spent many hours digging my car out. One day, I cleared out so much snow to avoid getting more snow plowed into my car. I lived on a busy street. The plows came at all times during the day and night to clear the road. I was confident that the overnight plows would not dump any snow on my car. I woke up the next day and saw that more snow and ice were packed against my car. I remember my neighbor feeling bad for me. She was like, “That’s messed up! You cleared out so much yesterday.”

I was livid but gave a calm response. I set out to do more work with my shovel. This time, I really had to work harder to dig out my car. The ice was very thick and needed to be chopped. Then it could be dumped onto the sidewalk or grass. It would have been too heavy to shovel right away and would have broken my shovel.

I then found that my car had a flat tire. How am I going to get this fixed???

I didn’t know what to do and I had no idea how I would get this tire fixed. I knew I couldn’t drive it anywhere. It was already cold and I had never really changed a tire before. I had no clue what to do next. Do I pay to get it towed? Would anyone come out today?

Divine Timing?

Before Snowmaggedon, I did take a short trip to NY in January to attend my friend’s funeral. I had plans to see him at some point in the Spring or Summer. I think we had plans to play basketball. He would mention working out in his Facebook posts, to get back into shape for the summer. I thought of him while shoveling and remembered thinking of the silver lining of shoveling being the equivalent of working out.

As I stood by the flat tire, I decided that I should shovel. I thought that maybe I could gather my thoughts to come up with a plan. I am chopping, digging, and throwing. In that process, I started to think, wouldn’t it be cool if my tire got fixed without moving it. I thought of it a couple of times and sighed sarcastically, “Yeah okay.”

At some point, I see a vehicle repair truck park on the other side of the road. It is not too far from where I am standing. I continue to dig but a sudden thought came to me. “Go and see if they can fix your tire.” I remember hesitating and then decided to dig some more. I saw that the mechanic was repairing a stalled vehicle on the opposite side of the road. It was unusual to see a car parked on that side as there was a no strict parking law on that side of the street.

The vehicle must have stalled and not been able to restart. As a result the driver abandoned the car. I kept getting the thought, “Go and see if they can fix your tire.” For some reason I felt embarrassed for wanting to ask but I finally did. I approached the mechanic and asked him if he was able to fix my flat tire. I told him that I would pay him. I don’t think I had cash but I just wanted to see if he would be available to come over. I explained to him my situation but he didn’t really want to hear me out.

The mechanic seemed stressed out by numerous calls that he needed to tend to. He refused to help anyone else unless they had made some sort of formal request. I was sympathetic to his reluctance. I tried to be understanding but thought this may be my only opportunity to get this fixed. He said no. I was polite and said, that’s fine and walked back to my car.

I went back to shoveling ice. The mechanic probably spent an hour fixing the car when I saw him packing up. I don’t remember if I made eye contact with him. He got into his truck and made a U-turn. Right after his U-turn, he parked right by my car. I stood there shocked.

After my experience, this is exactly how I viewed the tow truck driver and the tow truck. A Tow Truck from the Heavens!

I didn’t think he was going to come over but sure enough he did, he inflated the tire for free. I tried to pay him but he wouldn’t take any money. He said the tire would be fine but that I should get it checked out if the pressure gets low. I was so happy and grateful for him coming out of his way to assist me. It was humbling as I thought the mechanic did not care, but he did!

I remember looking at the sky and I thought of my friend. I saw the sun peering through the clouds and the sunlight just felt different. There was a sense of warmth despite it being so cold outside. I felt it. I also thanked my friend as I knew that he was there with the assistance. Although my spiritual awakening did not start for another couple of years, it was moment that I never forgot. I almost immediately attributed it to my friend being an angel despite being anti-religion.

I remember getting through that stormy period of my life. Eventually it stopped snowing, temperatures warmed up and the last mound of snow finally melted away in late April. That was memorable! My house finally sold and I was able to pay off a lot of my debt. Things got better and I started to settle into DC.

Now, as I embark on my spiritual journey, I reflect on this time. I think about how dark and cold it was. I realize it was temporary but it did provide me with a valuable lesson. Although times were rough, you must go through your rough patches in life because they shape you. You will always have your supporters with you. I had my supporter and he came through when I least expected it.

I now move forward in learning more about divine timing. I have to be patient and understand that sometimes, you’re just where you need to be in that moment.

An SOS – Seeking Guidance on Spiritual Growth

Published on by jkblog2013Leave a comment

I’ve come to terms that God/Source/Spirit is with me. It is not easy for me to write this. I’ve held the idea of God at the back of my mind. It was locked away and never to be discussed. I’ve always thought of myself as an atheist. All of that changed a year ago. Since that time, I have changed my views with spirituality. I have neglected my website and it has been a year since I posted anything. I actually started to write this draft about a year ago. I thought I was ready to write about my spiritual awakening but I never got past four sentences. A year later, I realize I am ready to be honest about my introduction my spiritual journey. Because I am still at the beginning of my journey, I hope whoever reads this can offer clarity and guidance.

Near Death Experience (NDE)Videos

Believe it or not but YouTube was how my spiritual awakening unraveled. My wife was getting into her spiritual journey at the beginning of 2023. I would support her but I had no intentions to join her. I was very reluctant to watch some of the videos on topics regarding spirituality. She would share with me what she learned and how she wanted me to watch them with her as well. I initially watched these with a very low level of interest. She finally got me to watch interviews of those who experienced Near Death Experiences (NDEs). When I finally gave in and started watching some of the videos, the interviewees described journeys to places beyond Earth. They would all say that those places felt more “real” than life on Earth. More “real” than Earth? How is that possible?

Some interviewees talked about popping out of their bodies and seeing their physical body. They described seeing people around them during the near death experience. They could hear the thoughts of everyone around them. I thought, “Wow, how cool would it be to hear people’s thoughts and to fly around!” Then they would talk about transporting to another place. Either by a tunnel or by some sort of portal or white light. Of course, I was very skeptical at this time. I wasn’t really taking any of this seriously. However, I was curious. That’s what would drive me to watch the entire video. I also requested that my wife only show me videos that were no more than 15 minutes long. I did not want to watch long drawn out videos. I feared these videos were trying convince me to join a church or to lure me into joining a weird group. I also had the expectation of seeing some religious text. No thanks!

During these interviews, people would talk about their journey to a new plane of existence. Some would call it heaven, others just called it a connection to spirit or “home”. I would watch their stories. Some commonalities were that they experienced a “Life Review.” They would watch and re-live an experience from their past. They would experience perspectives from everyone involved. For example, if they hurt someone, they would feel the pain that they gave to the other person. Or if they gave money to someone in need, they would feel the other person’s relief. They would also feel the joy it gave them. For the most part, they re-lived the hurt they gave someone. And that was for a reason, for them to understand that they need to change how they interact with others. In these moments of the videos, I honestly thought about my life review. I questioned what it would look like. I realized that I don’t want to go through it. I also would mentally roll my eyes about the lessons that given. In this realm, the people with the NDEs, would talk to loved ones or would have conversations with their angels. They all said that they felt this immense love that could not be described. They were given information that was necessary and were given a choice of coming back to Earth. They all came back but they all stated that they did want to stay. I would get tripped out by the fact that they wanted to stay but knew they had to come back. But what stuck with me after watching the videos is that they seemed sad to be back on Earth. They couldn’t really share this information about their experience with everyone. Even those who would talk to doctors and nurses would get a cold shoulder which made me sympathetic to them.

My wife would find more videos for me to watch. I would either dismiss them or view them after dinner. She would convince me about how good the video was when she saw it earlier in the day. So I would watch. The one NDE video that struck me was that of an atheist who nearly died. His experience was very much the same as everyone else who had an NDE. I resonated with his story when he talked about his reluctance to religion and God. He talked about how dismissive he was to anyone who would approach him with any hint of religion or God. His experience in the other realm was similar with a life review and I believe he talked to an angel. He came back to Earth with a knowing that we are all a part of God. He mentioned how he came back to Earth with more compassion. Although he did not become extremely religious, he no longer saw himself as an Atheist. He knew where we come from and where we go after this life. He had a peace with him and I immediately started to look for similar stories.

“I would like to have an NDE!”

I found the videos inspiring and I found them cool. It made me even say, “I would like to have an NDE!”. My wife would laugh and told me that she would believe me if I did have one. Later, I saw a YouTube video where a woman had an NDE as a baby. She did not realize that she had one until her brother told her about that experience. After watching that video I realized I may have had one. I felt like it may have happened to me.

There was always a family story about how I fell down the stairs twice as a baby. My brothers would make fun of me for falling down. I was learning to walk and I was in a baby walker when I fell down the basement stairs. I don’t remember any of it. The first time I fell, my mother was aware of it and had freaked out. The second time, my mother was at work. My dad covered it up so my mom wouldn’t know about it. Some time later, my older brother accidentally told my mom. He revealed that I had fallen down a second time. Of course, she was angry with my dad. While telling my wife the story, I suddenly recalled something important. My family mentioned I had passed out in one of those falls. I came to the conclusion that that I may have indeed had an NDE! This was an ongoing story that I remembered as a kid and teen. I hated hearing these stories because it made me feel like such a klutz even though I was just a baby!

I became curious about that whole event. I called my older brother and he told me a version of the story I had never heard before. He said that I passed out during the first fall. My mother immediately rushed to grab me and he saw my body limp. My mother ran upstairs and ran outside of the house hysterical. According to my brother, she was screaming and yelling outside of the house. He remembers her saying, “They took my baby! God, please help me!” At some point, while I was in her arms, I came to. My brother stated that he saw me my legs kick out and that I had started crying at that point. My mother was relieved. So it was no surprise that she would be very upset knowing that this happened again. Sidenote, there is a door leading to the basement. My parents had rented out the basement room to my uncle and aunt. Someone accidentally left the door open, hence why I fell, twice.

After talking to my older brother, I called my mother about this story. She recounted it, she got very emotional talking about it. I felt bad for bringing it up. However, it gave me confirmation that I potentially had an NDE as a child. I was just a toddler! Of course, if I did have an NDE, I don’t remember it. In the YouTube videos, people who experienced an NDE would sometimes say they felt gone for a long time. This was even though they were gone for only a few minutes on Earth. So I wonder, how long was I gone for?

Dreaming – Is it a gift?

I came to the conclusion as to why I had very vivid dreams growing up. It was most likely the result of an NDE. Becoming aware of this event made me understand some of the things I dealt with as a child. I was always confused by my déjà vu dreams. These moments from these déjà vu dreams would happen within a couple of days. They were so vivid that I couldn’t understand why I was having them.

I remember as a 6 year old trying to explain them to my parents. I would dream about myself and the people I was around. A few days later, it felt like I had been here all along. I wanted them to help me. They weren’t bad dreams but they were dreams of the near future. As I got older, I started having fewer déjà vu dreams. However, when the moments would come to fruition, there was an intense dream recall. Almost a reminder that I still had those type of dreams. I would also have odd experiences that I could only attribute to the paranormal. Yet, I always knew I had something special. It felt like I can attract more that what’s in the physical plane. I kept these things to myself. Sometimes, I shared them with my siblings when they talked about certain weird things they noticed.

I could talk more about my experiences growing up in my parent’s house but I’ll save that for another time. Fast forward to now. I only remember having had one lucid dream when I was a teenager. I’ve had four lucid dreams this year and I’m trying to figure out how to “do” it again. In all four of these dreams, an event made me realize I was in a dream. I have tried to use some of the same triggers but they don’t seem to work. I have been reading more books than I ever have. In the past, I read only when it was necessary. Now I’m reading a lot of books about spiritual growth and how to heal. I have joined a metaphysical church and am learning about gifts that people have. I want to learn more about these gifts and to find my own gift. I’m guessing that my gift might be that of dreams or dreaming. Dream Incubation has been mentioned to me. I think tapping into that would be my goal as well as others. There are so many things that I have learned over the last year and a half. I will use this time to write and share with whoever wants to read.

I am sending an SOS. This is to those who have begun their journey like me. It is also for those who have been on their journey for some time. It is for those who would like to share some wisdom and knowledge. I am a believer that we are all the same and we are of love. I am loved, you are loved, we are all loved. With that energy, everything becomes better. I just want to stay in that mindset. I also want to keep my heart open. If you’re out there and see this SOS, say hello.