Starting a blog post on a Saturday is one of the last things I thought I would do to highlight my night before the pandemic. Now that I feel quarantined to the world, I decided I didn’t want to browse through Netflix, Hulu, Prime, or HBO to find something to watch or re-watch. I thought about writing tonight. I thought about finally putting some ideas into my blog. It didn’t help that I just paid for my new subscription to this site and haven’t written anything since 2018. I didn’t write anything on this blog last year. Not even a little blurb about something interesting in my life in 2019 but I’ll start tonight.
Earlier, I saw some videos on Texas. I feel like there was something that I did leave behind in Houston. I moved to the DC area over 10 years ago and I finally admit that I truly did leave something behind. I always saw myself as a writer, even as a kid, and I have been ignoring it for a long time. I guess I lost the touch or passion for writing a year or two after moving to Houston. I thought about becoming a published writer or poet and then I just decided to ignore this ability. I guess it stopped being fun when I felt the pressure to produce something with it. I would write here and there. As sudden as the urge would start to write, it would stop. Now that I think about the mortality of my parents, my siblings, Jennifer and the kids, I sometimes wonder what happens if this is it. I don’t want to think about it but it seems to hit a little home when I see the stories of the infected in New York. The numbers seem very public but it’s scary to not know who’s been infected near you. I now start to realize the risk I take every time I take a step outside. It’s just weird. I thought it would pass when I was first asked to work from home. Now I wonder what will it be like when we do go back to “normal”.
Today, I start a blog. Hopefully it will continue. Hopefully I finish writing a story I have had in my mind since 2003. I did start it on Myspace but I believe it has been erased. I’m sure I can re-write it and who knows, maybe it will be worth finishing. lol
I will focus on some thoughts I’ve wanted to write for some time and just feared that it was too personal. For those reading this, I hope you enjoy.
Quick tidbit. When I managed my first location, my co-workers and I were very close with one another. I have to admit, it probably was the best time to manage until things slowly fell apart. Looking back, lack of experience, lead to things escalating quickly. It saddens me when I look back but all good things do come to an end. Maybe that’s something else to write about. Anyways, I remember my co-workers and I would play random games on the computers to pass the time at the reference desk or the circulation desk. We came up on the game Pandemic 2. We were all trying to infect the world in order to win the game. We would come very close but Madagascar was always the only part of the world that wouldn’t get infected. None of use ever beat it until someone from work figured it out through a message board. Once we all did it, that was the end of that game. I believe we all moved to Farmville after that. Fitting how I finally saw the movie Madagascar today with the family.
The fries at this McDonalds are so good, I wrote a letter and mailed it to my folks at home. It is as if the fries had babies with Lays Potato chips. I swear, they are the best here. There are some people who like soggy McD fries and some who like the crunchy McD fries. I like them crunchy and unfortunately Burger King seems to be the only option when I’m craving solid crunchy hot french fries with just the right sprinkling of salt. Sometimes a random McD’s will get it right but this McDonalds by far has been consistent. I checked 5 times just to be sure.
This McD’s will only get 3 stars and not 5 because there is a drawback to these unicorn fries. Unfortunately, you have to get your soul sucked out of you through their customer service. I won’t say their customer service is terrible but there is this one lady with RBF (resting bitch face) who will smile at you just for kicks, since you know she hates like her job and…well once you go through that smile of hers, it’s like you pay an extra price for awesome fries. Idk, it’s just weird. A piece of your soul goes somewhere, maybe into the fryer? Maybe that’s why they are so awesome? I don’t know. The counter can be weird at times, for example, there could be four workers just staring at you and you wonder, why don’t they ask me, “Can I help you.” You get stuck and wonder, “What is going on?” Just remember the fries like it’s the Holy Grail. I could care less about the rest of the items on the menu. Complain about Big Macs and coffee all you like but the fries, YEEZUS!!!
Epilogue
As I sat eating the fries, I saw this magical piece of artwork inside McD’s. It reminded me of a Banksy piece. Later, when I decided to eat a McNugget, I felt stupid. Like the guy’s stupid face on the bike.
I bought a cello in 2007 and have probably played it twice. At home, in my closet, collecting dust. I’m not a complete novice to the cello, I played the cello for 6 years growing up. I guess the cello at home is just a reminder of when I did play the cello. It probably would be better used as a big ass paperweight at this point. Now that I think about it, it’s more of a reminder of why I stopped playing the cello.
I played the cello from 2nd grade up until 8th grade. I stopped playing the cello in 9th grade for a couple of reasons. I was never fully vested in the cello so that was reason #1, the Addams Family Values movie, reason #2, and the summer of 1994 broke the camel’s back. No more cello!
Elementary School
My older sister and brother played an instrument from elementary school through high school. My older brother played the cello in elementary school and eventually switched over to the trumpet. My sister played the violin and the flute. My mom wanted me to play the cello just like my older brother. I thought it would be cool to play an instrument so why not follow big brother. I’ll never forget the day I brought my cello home, my mom was so proud. I remember her crying and dragging my little brother to the side door of the house, and saying how I reminded her of Freddy. In elementary school, I had to bring in the cello once a week and it was annoying to bring on the school bus.
I picked it up really quick. I remember my music teacher giving me homework and I hardly practiced at home. I would practice when my mom would be like, “Why is that cello in the closet! Get it out and practice!” Reluctantly, I would practice. Sometimes in front of my parents, siblings, or some friends of the family whenever my mom would want to showoff.
I remember enjoying the cello in elementary school because it got me out of my class once a week for an hour and I remember my teacher being impressed with how well I played even though I hardly practiced at home. I liked the comradery with the band and chorus kids. One of my fondest memories was during a practice for a winter concert, during a repetitive piece, I would play a different part of music on the sheet, only to get back in-sync with the orchestra just because the repetitions were boring me. I did it for the challenge and to make it interesting. My partner would notice it and sometimes the music teacher would notice it but when it came down to the concert, I made sure not to deviate from the music sheet.
Jr. High School
Orchestra became one of my main classes in junior high school. Unlike elementary school, where it was more of a one on one lesson, this was a group playing every single day. The seventh graders practiced together, the 8th graders practiced together, and the 9th graders practiced together. Once it was time for a concert, we all joined forces to destroy the universe. Just want to check if your still reading.
Anyways, we practiced every day, I had one cello for school and one for home. So I no longer had to carry around my cello to and from school. Since we played every day in school, I no longer practiced at home. I played my cello and eventually became cello #1, the coveted leader spot. My teacher was impressed how quickly I rose to that spot without private lessons. All of that would change in the Spring of 1994. In preparing for the spring concert, all the students had to bring in their home instruments to the concert. I didn’t think anything of it until the first day of practice.
I unzip the case and see a massive hole in the cello. There were pieces of the cello inside the hole! I was like, WTF!!! I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I never use this instrument so how did it break??? I couldn’t believe it and was scared to tell my mom. I had no choice but to tell her since she was driving me up to practice. I got yelled at, of course. I would too if Nik did the same thing. What made my mom even more upset is that I kept telling her that I don’t know how it broke. She was like, “What do you mean, you don’t know how you broke it!” I was like, “I didn’t break it, that’s the point!”
Either way, I was responsible for the instrument and had to come up with an excuse. My younger brother, Kenny, came up with a nifty excuse. He said, “Why don’t you tell the music teacher, you were walking up the steps with the instrument and you tripped and fell on top of it.” I was like, that’s fucking good! I was a little surprised to see him having sympathy for me rather than tease me for my misfortune. I told that excuse to my music teacher who wasn’t buying it. He told me that I would probably have to pay for a replacement cello. He lectured me on how instruments are not cheap and that this was going to cost me a lot of money.
Summer of 1994
My parents got a bill of $600 for the cello. My mom was like, now you’re going to have to get a job to pay for it. Your fault, your responsibility, now you go to work. My father got me a job at a local deli. I worked the weekends all summer. I stocked all of their fridges with sodas, juices, and 40’s. 40’s were kind of a big deal back then. I learned a lot with that job. I learned that you can’t spill grease on your clothes because it will never go away. Carrying grease buckets took a lot of skill! Even spilling grease on a sidewalk would permanently stain it. I learned that mopping floors before closing would annoy customers, so I did it anyway. lol I always kept the basement clean even though my co-worker would get it all messy just so I could clean it up. My first lesson on having co-workers that don’t always pull their weight. lol I saw co-workers brawl inside of the walk-in fridge only to be cool the next day. Every paycheck went straight to my mom.
By the time school rolled around, I had finished paying off my debt. I decided it was time to quit the cello.
Before I get to that part, let’s go back to the Adams Family Values movie.
Adams Family Values
That’s my cello burning in the background. Cara Mia!
Towards the end of the school year, there were no more concerts to practice for. The band and chorus teachers would let their students hang out during the period and would sometimes put a movie on. These were the VHS days! Watching a movie in school was a big deal! Even if it was a movie you had seen before.
My orchestra teacher didn’t care. The band and chorus kids would be laughing, eating, and doing homework during the movie, while we continue to play our instruments. My classmates banded together against the orchestra teacher and asked why weren’t we getting free time. His response, “We keep playing.” Who was this Bill Belechick??? What the hell man! Then one day, the band and chorus were watching Adams Family Values, which had just come out on VHS. We were so bummed and I was upset because I really wanted to see that movie. We were playing music just for hell of it. So naturally, I kept this in mind when it was time to quit the cello.
Sidenote: The last week of school, the music teacher did give us a break and my first inkling of comedy came out. “Yo Momma Jokes” were in at that time and I remember I was annoyed at the music teacher that I told my friends a joke. I said, Mr. Insert Name is so fat, that when he drives his van, he can only make left turns. lol I got some chuckles and even one kid thought about it and started laughing while repeating the joke.
In Memoriam
I quit the orchestra and the cello in 9th grade. Carrying grease buckets, dealing with ladies from salon who were upset with me for not putting the cold drinks at the front of the fridge, and mopping floors for small paychecks were fresh on my mind. Not watching The Addams Family Values movie, right behind it. My teacher tried his best to convince me to play again and I just kept saying no.
Instead of orchestra, I took an art class and found it to be much more relaxing than orchestra. I loved watercolors and drying my artwork on the rack. It was cool and different. Plus I now got to hang out with kids who were not part of the band, orchestra, and chorus clique. I saw a whole new world!
I can’t say that I missed playing the cello. Sometimes I would rib the kid who took my spot and tell him that if I came back, I would still be #1, kind of like when Michael Jordan came back. He would laugh but I knew it wouldn’t be long before he caught up to my cello skills. I never looked back at it and was glad I didn’t have to drag my parents to another boring winter concert. How many times do you want to hear Jingle Bells or some other holiday song?
WAIT SO HOW DID THE CELLO BREAK???
This sort of looks like the broken cello but just imagine a bigger hole.
Oh so in 2003, I came home from college and saw my brothers laughing hysterically. I was like, what is so funny? Kenny, my younger brother, says, YOU! I was like, “Hahaha. No what’s so funny?”
Kenny: Remember when that cello broke? Well, Freddy and I were wrestling and he body slammed me into your cello. The cello broke and we didn’t know what to do, so we put in the smashed pieces in the hole and let it sit. You didn’t notice it for weeks until the concert. So now you know how it broke!
Me: You guys owe me $600 plus interest. Not funny. No wonder you came up with that excuse! No wonder you were all sympathetic! You two are fucking idiots!!! I gave up playing because of that broken cello.
They just laughed. That’s family.
So why did I buy a cello after all these years? I was browsing on Craigslist and saw a brand new cello for $250. Do you know how cheap that is??? I actually thought about flipping it for more money but I kind of like it as a memory piece, that is currently at home, in my closet, collecting dust.
Sometimes you have to say, “Fuck it!” and just do what’s right. A few years back, I did something that would have cost me my job, well my part-time job. After a trip to New York, one that didn’t go so well, I decided to limit my free time and take on a night job. (One day I’ll write about that enlightening trip) I was in my second year of my graduate program at the University of North Texas, had a full-time job as a branch manager at the library, and I was still rehabbing my house as it was a starter home that needed plenty of love. My work schedule was always different. I had some days where I worked early hours and some when I worked a late shift. Even with all of that, I decided to take a part-time gig to pay off some debt but to restrict my free time in order to focus on myself. At that time, I was distracted and did not have the patience to see what else I can do with my free time. It’s something you don’t really understand until you live alone and are constantly in paralyzing thought. I needed some perspective.
Once I made up my mind to keep busy, I immediately started looking for part-time work. I always had a curiosity about working a night job. My father had worked a night job when I was a kid and he would come home to sleep but my younger brother and I would try to play with him. He was hardly home during that time and my mother was always yell at us, “Let your Dad sleep!” As I got older, I always wanted to figure out how he managed to work two or three jobs so I decided to give it a go. I applied for a night auditor position at a nearby hotel. I now worked Saturday and Sunday nights from 11pm to 7am. I wasn’t sure how long I would last at this position. I figured, at a minimum, I would try it for a month and if it was driving me crazy, I would quit.
Here’s a glamorous shot of a night auditor. Seems quite regal right?Here’s a realistic shot of a night auditor. Quite depressing isn’t it?
I began working my night job and I managed to go through a month quickly. I worked through my last two semesters and still managed to graduate with a 4.0. I’m allowed to gloat on that feat. My sleep was all fucked up during this time. Sunday nights were the worst. Once I finished at 7am, I would drive in rush hour traffic to go home and would try to sleep for 2 to 3 hours before going to my full-time job all dazed and confused. After the library I would finally come home and sleep. Sometimes I could not fall asleep right away and felt like I had insomnia. My sleep would get back to normal by the middle of the week only to mess it up again come Saturday night. I completed a year working my night job before calling it quits. I quit because I had decided to move to Washington, D.C. Had I stayed in Houston longer, I probably would have continued working the night job to pay off some of the mortgage on the house. Unfortunately, there really wasn’t a lot of interesting things that happened during my tenure at the hotel. I really would have thought I would have had seen some really crazy things, especially on a Saturday night but there was only one that I can really say was memorable.
It was August and I had come in to work my shift on a Sunday night. As soon as I walked in to relieve my co-worker, I saw that she was struggling to communicate with an older Hispanic man. I stepped in and started talking to him in Spanish. He was asking about a bus depot and was looking for a bus schedule. He was about my Dad’s age and he told me that the he had come from Galveston looking for work because of the damage Hurricane Ike had inflicted on that city. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to find work and was told that there was work in San Antonio. He said he left his home in New Orleans and was looking to get some money to send back to his family. I don’t remember his name and he seemed very happy that he had someone to talk to. I was able to find him the information on the bus schedule and he was very grateful for the information. He continued with his small talk and at times kept interrupting me while I started to settle in to work. I thought it was odd that he kept hanging around in the lobby area after it looked like he would be on his way but then he asked me if he could sit in the dining area to drink his cup of coffee. I had no problem with that so he grabbed his cup and sat down by the TV, that always played the CNN news.
If this was going to be my last day of work then it would have been worth it!
A little after midnight, I noticed the old man slightly slumped over on a wooden chair. I went over to check on him and he seemed to jump up as soon as I asked him if he was okay. He acted like he was awake the whole time and he said he was just enjoying his coffee, so again, I let him be. As I started to walking back towards the front desk, I thought of my father and my mother. I couldn’t help but wonder about the sacrifices they made coming to this country. Sometimes you can’t help but think that someone helped my parents in their journey while settling into this country. These were little acts of kindness that they may or may not remember. I thought about a couple of stories that my parents had told me as a kid and the one that stuck out to me was the story about my father being able to convince immigration officers in Miami to give him a visa for 10 days to go to New York. I always wondered how my father was able to convince them to let him go. My father always said that they felt bad for him and that’s why they let him go. Here I was feeling bad for the old man who was trying to get some sleep. I stood at the front desk and said to myself, I should do something. I immediately looked at the bookings at the hotel and noticed quite a few rooms available. I decided to give the old man a room. I knew I could get away with it but I figured if I were to get fired for this, it would be worth it. At that moment I didn’t care what type of repercussions were coming my way. So I got the keys to one of the suites and woke up the old man. I walked him to the room and told him I would wake him up so that he could catch the bus. I didn’t want him sleeping on a wooden chair. I couldn’t help but think of my dad.
An hour before my shift was over, I walked over and knocked on the door. It was time for him to get to the bus depot. The old man was very grateful for the room and he seemed to be in good spirits. I wished him luck on finding work in San Antonio and he walked towards the bus depot.
Every time my shift ended on a Monday morning, I would be very tired but on that particular morning, I felt good. I didn’t feel as sleepy and wanted to tell my friends what I did but I knew it could cost me my job, so I just told my best friend Daisy about it. I hope the old man found some work in San Antonio. I am glad that for one night, he was able to get some sleep on a comfortable bed rather than a wooden chair or a metal bench. I’m pretty sure not everyone would have had the same response that I did. It’s possible that someone else would have kicked him out of the hotel or let him sleep on that chair for a little bit before kicking him out of the lobby area. Or worse, someone would have called the cops on him if they couldn’t get past the language barrier, who knows. I am usually very skeptical about people trying to get something past me but in this case I didn’t feel that way. I hope that’s the case because if it isn’t, I’m going to become Liam Neeson from Taken take out that old man. I will find you Old Man! I WILL FIND YOU!
10 years ago, if you used the term catfish, you were probably referring to an actual catfish or someone nicknamed Catfish. Now that term is synonymous with creating a fake online profile. Thank you Nev!
As I kid, I was a huge fan of the show, The A-Team. (Queue the A-Team theme song) Mr. T’s character, B.A. Baracus, was my real life super-hero and I hoped to be as strong as him someday. So when fake celebrity profile pages became a thing on Myspace, I decided to join in on the action. So why not be “Bad Ass Mr. T” on Myspace? Before I get into the backstory of my Mr. T persona, let’s go down memory lane as to what Myspace was or still is. Does anyone still use it?
Myspace History 101
Hello my first ever Myspace “friend” Tom!
For those who were not on Myspace or have no clue what Myspace is, let me tell about this one hit wonder! Myspace was the pioneer Facebook or Instagram or Snapchat, etc. Around 2005-2006, I would say that Myspace was the bridge that made it okay to be on the internet and socialize with other people. Prior to that, you had AOL chat rooms and a conglomerate of webpages like Blackplanet.com or Migente.com, that allowed you to meet other people through their profiles. But it was still considered creepy to meet people from the Internet! Myspace allowed people to become friends with one another. Friends! Actual friends, right? What made Myspace cool was the fact that it became mainstream and of course, women were into it! So jocks & beauty queens were now a part of internet collective. Myspace allowed users to post pictures of themselves, put on their favorite music, upload videos of themselves, and other features as a way to connect with their friends. Now, you could stalk someone without greeting them with an “A/S/L?” first. Of course, I fed into this frenzy late and was glad that adding people to your online circle started to become less weird, less loser-ish. I no longer felt like an online nomad looking for online lady friends anymore. Myspace was now considered the cool toy.
Once the allure of adding your real life friends to your friends list along with everything else associated with Myspace faded, fake profiles started to pop up. At first, I was like, “Woah, my brother is friends with Vida Guerra! How is that possible?” Then I quickly realized that this was a fan page, not the actual Vida Guerra. Remember Vida Guerra? She was my brother’s #1 friend and the famous “model” on music videos of that time. After seeing numerous fake friendships starting to form on all of my friend’s Top 8, I started to become friends with fake profiles as well. I remember adding God, Jesus with guns, Black Jesus with guns, Jewish Jesus, Toaster Oven, Jiff peanut butter, and the character Tituba from the book, The Crucible. I was fascinated that someone took the time out to create a profile for the character Tituba. That name always stuck with me. I don’t remember much about The Crucible, but I guess as a horny teenager, the name Tituba was kind of arousing. You could spell Tit and Tuba from that name and I’m guessing it gave me the impression of a big tittied woman playing the tuba. Stupid, I know!
After all of this, I decided it was time for me to see what it would be like to be a fake celebrity.
Mr. T has entered the arena!
I highly doubt Sean Connery would use this as his quote but here’s an example of a fake celebrity Myspace profile.
So one day I decided to create an official Mr. T Myspace page. This was before celebrities started verifying their pages, so it was very easy to create a page on any celebrity. There were other Mr. T profiles as well but I decided to put my creative writing skills to use. My caption stated, “The T’ficial profile of Mr. T!” and people bought into it.
My first week, I out-friended all of the other fake Mr. T profiles and was the top dog of Mr. T’s on Myspace. It was quite a feat. People were sending me messages left and right and I couldn’t even keep up. So I decided to create a little shtick for my profile. I created a blog where I would give my Mr. T insights and would ask my friends to send me any issues going on in their lives so that I can give them my special Mr. T advice. At first all the messages I received were about coming to a club to hang out, people offering me money to go visit them, asking for autographs, and random questions about the A-Team show. Since I was not the Real Mr. T, I just decided to respond to a few and then write my blog posts.
Mr. T’s advice column
The blogs were downright made up at first. I made up the stupid advice questions that were supposedly brought up to T and I gave them the most bad ass advice Mr. T can give. “Mr. T how do I handle a disagreement with my friend?” Mr. T’s response? Beat people up who are not being nice to you. Punch those fools in the face! “Mr. T, how do I get a lady friend to notice me?” Out muscle the fool that she’s into! That’s what! As you can see Mr. T was very aggressive with his advice. I guess that’s how T sounded like in my head.
I made dedications to my Top 8 fans and things just spiraled out of control. My own profile was very slow and boring. My own real life wasn’t very exciting so I started to take on the Mr. T persona more and more. I added photos and put in my Mr. T signature on everything. Women were sending me messages, guys wanted to hang with me, and everyone seemed to really gravitate to my profile.
I had a handful of diehard fans that I would message often and even one lady who really wanted to know my identity. At first, I didn’t want to tell her I wasn’t Mr. T because she seemed to have the hope that she had connected to the real Mr. T but eventually I caved in and told her that I wasn’t Mr. T. She appreciated the honesty and continued to be my number one fan. Unfortunately, I don’t remember her name but I do remember that she was from California and had on some sort of police uniform on.
I did this for a couple of weeks and eventually slowed down with my T’ficial page. I still kept getting messages, adding more friends, but I knew that this was all due to the fact that they thought they were reaching out to the real Mr. T. Advice questions started rolling in and I really couldn’t keep up
Then one day my T’ficial page disappeared. Gone, completely gone! I even looked for the profile and couldn’t not find it at all. All the other loser Mr. T profiles still existed except for mine. It was like the movie, Life of Pi, when the tiger just leaves without saying good-bye. I didn’t get a message or email saying “Cease and Desist!” from some lawyer or a message from the real Mr. T saying, “Stop fucking with Mr. T because this is the real Mr. T! Fool!” Nothing. Just gone. I felt a little sad but I moved on. I didn’t create another profile as I really didn’t have the energy to do it again. I just wish I would have kept in touch with my some of my diehard fans or added them to my real page.
Mr. T Resurfaces!
A couple of months go by and I see a promo for Mr. T’s show titled, “I Pity The Fool” on TV Land. I thought it was funny to see Mr. T back on TV but what pissed me off was that this was a show about Mr. T giving advice! I was like HOLD UP!!! Wait a minute! Mr. T stole my idea!
Mr. T’s I Pity The Fool! A show where Mr. T give advice to people! REALLY??? I wonder where the idea for this show hatched!
The show didn’t do very well and I never saw one episode. All I can surmise is that that show could have used me. So yeah, I believe the real Mr. T destroyed my Myspace page to gain his infinite millions of dollars! I, of course, did nothing about it because my proof was destroyed by someone at Myspace headquarters. But my story had to come out. I’m a little bitter because I was robbed of millions of dollars!!! Okay, let’s be real, I was robbed of a potential writing job. I’m glad your show failed Mr. T! We could have been contenders Mr. T! We could have been somebodies T! We could’ve been….friends but now we’re bums!
It has been two days since the Cubs won their first World Series title in over 100 years and for one day, everything seemed pretty chill. Everyone was raving how great Game 7 was and I even got the sense that although Cleveland lost, they were okay with losing the series. I say this because I didn’t see any salty posts yesterday. I guess since the Cavs won their title from a 3-1 deficit as well, Cleveland is okay with just one title for this year. Cleveland has the best basketball team in America and that’s okay!
Yesterday felt like a day of relief from all the bickering that’s going on with the election. Everyone seems on edge about Election Day and I think that’s the point of this election, to have everyone on the edge of their seat. Similar to what Game 7 provided. A back and forth drama where nobody seems to know what will happen until it’s finally over. Like my friend Gregg says, “This election feels like a reality show, with everyone buying into the drama.”
I’m an avid baseball fan and baseball usually mirrors what’s going on in the country. This is one reason I love this game. What’s interesting is that the Cubs were heavily favored to win the World Series in Spring Training and it’s the first time I have ever seen a team favored from the start of the season and end up as champions. Now, I don’t know what the outcome of the election will be but it does seem like Hillary may be the favorite going in and Donald Trump is the outsider nobody would have predicted would go past the primaries, similar to the Cleveland Indians. Cleveland wasn’t expected to go very far after losing some of their best players before the playoffs began.
Social media was calm yesterday and everyone had something to say about the game. I actually enjoyed reading what my friends had to say and seeing some Cubs fans breathe a sigh of relief. I wonder if the same can be said about next Wednesday. Hopefully we’ll know who wins the election and who will be breathing a sigh of relief.
Six years ago, I found the courage to go up on stage, tell jokes, and have no one laugh. Well to be honest, I did get one laugh, when I tapped the microphone and asked if it was on. It was a hacky thing to do but in the midst of a horrible set I had to say it. I was drawing empty stares instead of laughs. I didn’t invite any friends to watch me that night and I was glad I didn’t. After the show was over, I wanted to find someone who could offer me some sort of hope that it wasn’t all that bad. I asked the host and some other comics what they thought of my set. LOL! Rookie mistake. They didn’t say anything harsh but their body language and hesitation to find something nice to say was putting salt on a wound. I had wished I hadn’t approached anyone and left it alone but I needed something or a reason to think it wasn’t a mistake trying to get up on stage.
I left to my depressing apartment in despair, comforted by my two cats and was like, Well, at least I can say that I tried stand-up and that’s all that really mattered. Right? At least, that’s what I told myself for the next two days. I wanted to do better. I wanted to get up on stage again. I wanted to get up there and “Wow” the audience. I felt inside that I could do that. When I started to feel confident, my doubts would come back because I can’t shake the nerves. I get very nervous when speaking to an audience like most people, I stumble on my words, visibly shake, so how am I supposed to tell a good joke or a set of jokes for 5 minutes???
I thought about it a lot and decided to give it one more try with the help of my best friend Darryl. I wrote out my routine and he helped me find some punchlines. I invited a couple of friends to watch me and once I did that, the pressure really took hold of me. For days, I was shaking, nervous, anxious, ready to cancel and walk away but I pushed through. I made it to the venue, RFD’s Awesome Thursday in Washington DC and signed up. The host, Ralph Cooper, put me up, I did my set, I got comfortable when I heard the laughs, continued my routine, and got off stage like I was the next up and coming comedian. It was a high that I wanted to share with everyone. It was a release that felt so good even after all the tension from the days prior to the show. After coming down from that high, I wanted to write and do another routine. I gave myself a couple of weeks but I was ready to get back on stage. It was quite different from my very first time up on stage but I learned later that with the support of friends and family, it could jump start your way into comedy.
My first year was up and down. I went about once a month to perform and watched a lot of shows at RFD. Some of my performances I felt good about and some of the others not so much but the energy was there. I felt the creativity and was supportive of everyone who would go up on stage. All the comics were very supportive and I expected to meet a mean comic but that has never really happened. The hosts of the Awesome Thursday show were very supportive and cut out the bs. You knew where you stood and when you leveled up, you knew you were on your way. I credit a lot to Mr. Cooper for being approachable, recognizing the amount of work you put in, and making Awesome Thursdays a great show. At that time, I loved recording my sets and sharing them online. My friend, Darryl, got up on stage too and was amazing to watch. He had fun with it and it was great when we both performed on the same night. I made a lot of new friends and was excited to tell people that I do comedy. I liked saying I was a comedian at that time and it was a badge of honor I liked to share with anyone who might have cared. I felt a close connection to all the comics and wanted to learn from them. I liked seeing them perform and when they killed it, it was great to say, “Nice set!” You could see the expression on their faces that they did the right thing to do comedy.
I never found consistency on my first year because I was stubborn and afraid. I was stubborn because I didn’t want to repeat a routine and never learned to work on a joke or a routine until Year 2 or 3. I was afraid of going to other rooms outside of RFD. I stuck with what I was comfortable with for that entire first year. When the anniversary came of my first time going up on stage, I was surprised that I was still doing it.
Year 3 was the year everything started to change. I started to look at other rooms outside of DC, outside of Chinatown. I finally set my mind to going to other rooms and checking out other comics. RFD’s Awesome Thursdays had become a much harder place to get a spot. I found myself wanting more stage time and I didn’t want to wait a few weeks. I started going to The Comedy Spot in Ballston and checking out rooms in the U Street corridor. I started to go to more open mics but I didn’t feel like I was making more progress. It was until the start of 2012, that I had made the determination to make myself a better comic and to learn as much as I can. I started going almost daily to open mics. Even though my work schedule was hectic, I still managed to get out there and perform. I was finally building a routine and saw the difference in how I was performing. My confidence started to shoot up and I started to get more respect from the working comics. I was putting in the work and realized that I could do better.
There were some highs and lows in Years 3, 4, and 5. I’ll just go ahead and lump them together. I knew most of the local comics and was well-versed in the open mics in the area. My routines were good but not solid. I did kill at one showcase but I never got booked for more shows. I didn’t like the idea that I had to buddy up or beg to get on a show. I just figured talent alone should do that. That was another stubborn thing but you do have to put yourself out there for people to notice you and I didn’t really bother putting in an effort. I met Jennifer doing comedy and asking to get on her show when she put out an open call. We wouldn’t be together had she not put me on her show. I bombed on that show, BTW. Overall, I became friends with some comics and lost some of those friendships as well. It was weird and I wasn’t sure if it was because Jennifer was posting pictures of our dates, week to week. I had heard that some comics couldn’t believe we were dating.
I started my own comedy class through my job, the library, and it was overwhelming at first. I had a lot of help from everyone I reached out to. I still continue to run the class today. It is fun when I have a student really go forward with comedy but I’ve been frustrated by the lack of interest of others. If only I could get people who pay hundreds of dollars to go to the Improv for a comedy class to come to mine for free. I’ve met some who want to get up on stage once they learn the secrets to stand-up. I don’t believe in shortcuts. You just have to go up on stage to begin your journey.
I searched for “Crossroad of Comedy” and found a book with the same title. So I just created my own photo. Which way I’m going? I don’t know yet.
Today, I find myself at a crossroad with comedy. I want to leave it alone and walk away. A part of me just wants it to be a chapter of my life that I can look back on but a part of me thinks I should continue with the path. Sometimes I feel something telling me not to walk away from it. I stopped recording my sets and pretty much have ceased to tell anyone about my shows or any upcoming shows. I don’t perform as much, it’s been stalled for the moment. I still teach my comedy class through the library and I eventually post on Facebook the comedy showcase but I’m not expecting people to show up. That’s the only time I really perform now, is at the library comedy showcase. I’ve stopped trying to build myself up. I guess for me it’s frustrating when you put a lot of work into something and you have to put things on hold for the moment. I would like to get some consistency in the future and maybe get the opportunity to perform at the Improv. I think that would be the end game for me.
The positive now is that I don’t get as nervous as I used to, I’ll get nervous right as I’m about to go up on stage. I don’t lose sleep thinking about my routine anymore. I like that I don’t feel too much pressure and that’s the major plus side of comedy now versus six years ago. I actually enjoy performing now because my time is limited. I do my best to have fun with it because I know it may be some time before I go back up on stage. Unlike six years ago, I had the freedom to go to mics every night of the week if I wanted to. Now that I have my family, it’s when I have free time to go and that window is very very small! I wish I would have more time to practice my routine as it would help me have confidence to get on a booked show or if I’m invited to do a show, I know I’ll be ready. I sometimes miss being around the comics to feel like I’m part of the community, lately I’ve been feeling like an outsider based on the fact that I’m not out there anymore. I like seeing when comics post about their successes or even failures. I don’t want them to fail but I like it when the comedy community rallies behind them to keep going. I sometimes get new friend requests of new comics and sometimes see that some who started around the same time I did, no longer do comedy. When I do perform, I do see some glimmer of hope when I get a laugh or if my routine goes well but then it goes dark when I realize it may be some time before I perform again. I do enjoy teaching the class as it gets me excited to see them go and try comedy. It’s nice to see people light up about their performances in class and seeing their progress online.
I’m much more grounded now and I realize that some of the jokes I made six years ago are jokes I would probably never utter again. I think a lot had to do with my mindset then and what I thought comedy was as a rookie. I’ve learned that the art, the craft of comedy takes a lot of skill. It’s not something that will be developed right away but it’s something that will stay with you forever if you’ve kept at it for a period of time. I’ve felt the highs and felt the lows. The funny thing is, everything in the middle of the highs and lows don’t matter. I believe this is the one universal truth that all comics can agree to.
If this is the year I stop performing, it’s still nice to see some of the comics I’ve shared the stage with go on to do bigger and better things. Who knows maybe one day when Nik gets older, I could tell him that I personally know the headliner comic he’s a fan of. I do expect that to be a reality one day because I have nothing but respect and love for people who go full steam ahead with stand-up comedy.
I needed a catchy title and I think that pretty much sums up this post. I met my co-worker Richard back in 2007 and worked with him through 2009, right before I left to Washington DC. Richard was very humble, smart, a hard worker, and grew up in Southeast Houston, Texas. If you ever had the opportunity to meet Richard, you would think he’s a very unassuming guy. Richard was a good guy and one who was very supportive of his friends. He would laugh at your joke even if it was really bad or corny. He was quiet and to himself but every once in awhile he would give you a story of his past. Whenever Richard would talk about his past, my co-workers and I would find it hard to believe that Richard was a “man of the streets” at some point in his life. My co-worker and best friend Daisy sometimes joked about Richard’s sketchy past on our lunch break as it didn’t seem to fit his character. Any talk of his past would then be overshadowed by his love for conspiracy theories (mainly aliens), talk radio, 90’s Hip Hop, and his adoring wife, Maria.
I had moved to Houston, Texas in 2004 and by 2008, I had bought my first house in Southeast Houston. I was familiar with most areas in Southeast mainly because that’s where I was placed when I worked for the Houston Public Library system. Around 2008, I had talked to Richard about starting up a co-ed softball team. I was ready to start a new team and was gauging interest with my friends. Richard was excited and really wanted to do it even though he had never played softball before. He was a big baseball fan like me and expressed that he could hit but not catch. We formed a bit of a kinship because I also was not a great fielder but could hit the crap out of a softball. We made plans to go to the park and play catch one day after work.
On a nice Fall-like day in Houston, which is rare, we made plans to go to the park. I picked him up from his house and we drove to nearby Settegast Park. I remember wanting to buy a house in that neighborhood but I was priced out. Richard had always warned me about the crime in the area but I didn’t really pay it much attention. I was fond of the neighborhood as I knew some of the local artists in the area. I started my library career at nearby Stanaker branch and I absorbed the community I worked in. I had been to parties in this area, I got my haircut at the nearby barbershop, played basketball at Settegast a couple of times and even celebrated my birthday there, playing kickball with my friends and family. The area near the park had some really beautiful homes and it wasn’t very far from downtown. The area was going through a lot of re-development and I didn’t feel threatened. I figured I blended in. Majority of the residents there are Hispanic and I didn’t feel like an outsider until I ordered food at a local taqueria.
Richard and I pulled up to the park. We start playing catch on the softball field. I remember seeing a group of guys playing basketball but I didn’t pay them much attention. Rich and I kept throwing the ball to each other and at times I felt like the guys on the basketball court were eyeing us but I didn’t give it much thought. After an hour, the sun started to set, Rich and I head back to the car. I noticed the guys on the court were starting to leave as well. I put the bat and gloves in the trunk. Rich and I are talking as we head into my car.
I turn on the car and see the guys from the basketball court get into their cars. The first car heads out of the parking spot and parks by the entrance/exit of the parking lot. The second car moves towards the first car and slowly moves to the back of my car. At first, I’m puzzled and was like, Why is this idiot parked behind my car? I was surprised that the car wasn’t moving and I start to get frustrated. Immediately, Richard tells me to look forward and to grab my phone from my pocket. He starts instructing to play with my phone, to act like I’m sending a text on my lap. I was puzzled at first and then he yells at me to keep messing with my phone. Richard then opens my glove box and starts messing with his phone as well. Richard then tells me to look down at my phone and then to slowly look back on my left shoulder. While I do this, he passes me something from the glove box. He also starts looking towards the back of the car and tells me to relax and just act like you’re preparing for them to come out of the car. I was in shock and started to understand the severity of the situation. Both cars had dark tinted windows on their vehicles, so I couldn’t see what was going on inside their cars and it was clear that both cars were in communication with one another. I was nervous and realized that someone with a gun may come out of the car behind us to rob us. I didn’t know what else to do until Richard yelled at me to keep playing with my phone. Right after that, I glanced at the driver side mirror and saw both cars slowly moving out of the parking lot. I was scared and immediately asked Richard if those guys were going to rob us. He responded with a yes and began to smile. He then chuckled and was like man, you almost blew it! I told him that I had no idea what to do. Richard then told me that he needed me to play with the phone and that he opened the glove compartment to make it seem like we both had guns. Richard wanted to give them the impression that we were loading our guns and that we were going use them when they walked towards the car.
I looked online for a photo that kind of captured how I was blocked in and it was similar to this photo. Currently, my 2007 Toyota Corolla looks like that beaten Silver car in the photo but back in 2008, I was stylin’!
Stunned, I asked, ...And they bought it??? Richard said, I guess so. Let’s get out of here man. On the drive back, Richard kept laughing at me and repeated how he wished I could have seen my face! I laughed but was not comfortable with the idea that we just bluffed our way out of a possible robbery or car jacking. Richard didn’t seem phased by the situation and started to ask softball questions. We talked about catching and defensive positioning in softball but my mind was still in a state of shock. I drove humbled by the fact that I underestimated the neighborhood I was in and underestimated Richard’s street smarts, which saved my ass. I wanted to ask Richard how he was able to react to the situation the way he did but I decided I would ask him the next day at work as I didn’t want to think about it anymore.
As I dropped Richard off, I asked, What would have happened if they got out of the car? His response was, We would have been robbed Kerby! He walked away with his signature smile and chuckled as he went inside of his home. The next day, I asked Richard, how he managed to get us out of that situation and he just smiled. Oh Kerby, don’t worry about it man. He never gave me a concrete answer. I was hoping that he would have told me that some OG from Macario Garcia Drive gave him the Gangsta Degree of Magnolia Park. He never did talk about that day and whenever I would tell people about his street smarts, he would smile and chuckle. He never jumped into the conversation to make fun of me but just kept to himself, almost like he really wanted to distance himself from that persona. Once I moved to D.C., we didn’t really talk much. He’s not on Facebook and if he was he would have faded into those categories of people I used to see often but now I click to see what’s new. This memory of Richard will never go away as I’m reminded of how savvy people can be in certain situations.
I’ll never forget the moment I pulled out my phone to send a text and my friend Matt was like, “What is that???” His eyes lit up in amazement. I was surprised and asked why the befuddlement. He thought it was strange that I had a keyboard on my phone. He made it seem like my phone was a dinosaur. I guess with the way technology moves with its constant upgrades, I don’t keep up with the tech wave like most people around me do.
So here’s a list of some of my low tech favorites:
Keyboard on the phone
Yes I love a keyboard on my phone. I love not having to get a spell check for every single word I type. I have control and it is similar to typing on a keyboard. I’ve been typing on a keyboard since I was in elementary school and I’ve been conditioned that way. I also have big fingers so it sucks when you are typing on the surface of a phone or tablet and you misspell words constantly. I also don’t need the constant suggestions! I am a former a spelling bee champ, so I’m very confident with my spelling skills. Just sayin’! I just love my keyboard so I’m kind of sad to see that Blackberries are now going extinct. But are all keyboards gone for other brands of smartphones???
MP3 Player – Sansa Clip
My darling wife bought me an iPod for Valentine’s Day 2014. I have yet to use it. Why? Because I like using my Sansa Clip MP3 player. The Sansa Clip was outdated when I bought it in 2010. I know that the iPod is way better but I’m a little hesitant to pledge an allegiance to Apple. I once owned an iPod and I had to replace it twice at the hint of mist. It was annoying and buying a replacement was very expensive. I guess with that experience I rather keep my wife’s iPod in its case because I don’t want to go to the Apple Store to deal with a bunch of geniuses again. The Sansa Clip, which I have never heard of before, works and doesn’t die at the first hint of mist or a drop of water or even accidentally washing it in the washer machine. The thing works and the one time it did die on me, it was practically 3 years old. So wear and tear versus mist, you be the judge! So let’s just say I’m loyal to this old thing right now and I guess if in case of an emergency, I’ll use the brand new iPod when I’ve decided to move on from the Sansa.
Printing out hotel confirmations, tickets, and directions
I could just pull up the confirmation on my phone right? I guess this one definitely ages me out. I guess there is something about viewing a document on a piece of paper rather than viewing it on the screen of your phone. It’s tangible for one and very reliable. I have a strong argument about printing out map directions because I’ve proved to my wife that her phone can lose reception at random times. It becomes handy to have a printed set of directions when your phone is no longer voicing directions. AHA! So take that Iphone or Samsung Galaxy or whatever gizmo you have!
I’m a little disappointed that ducats for sporting events are beginning to fade away too. There is something about keeping a ticket for nostalgia. I mean you can go on your phone and show off the barcode right? Yes you could take photos and post them on social media but what happens when the cloud disappears or dies. What happens when the day comes that nobody uses Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, or Twitter, and your photos are in some sort of Myspace void? Then the ticket comes in handy right? I believe the ticket is special because of its composition, the logos, and even the font used to describe what section you are sitting in. I still have tickets to old Shea Stadium that I fully embrace now. Hopefully they will be of value one day! lol
A BOOK!
I am not convinced on switching over to an e-book. I’m sorry but I just love touching a book and having it sit on the bookshelf. Granted it may collect dust if I’m not re-reading it but I still fancy them over an e-reader. I just don’t feel the need to download a book. I’m not suggesting everyone throw away their Kindles or Ipads but it’s just not for me. Plus my main argument with e-readers is that they also get upgraded right away. So why buy a Kindle when it will be outdated in a year or two? A book doesn’t get outdated. Editions will change, the cover may look nicer but it’s still the same text. Besides, isn’t it nice to show off how well read you are? lol
That’s it for now but if you have some outdated tech that you like to use please share!
“How To Not Fat” seems to be the theme for me and a lot of people. It’s about making the right choices when it comes to eating and it can be pretty stressful. When you begin a diet, you are motivated by the transformation to a former self or a new you but by Week 5 you’re ready to eat some cookies, ice cream, or a pepperoni pizza. Fuck it! Fuck it all to hell! I am craving sugar and grease! (If you don’t get like that until Week #35, then good for you. You’re better than me and you deserve a cookie!)
Jennifer and I know the struggles of avoiding sugar and eating bad foods. It truly is a drug, you can be off of it for months and then Thanksgiving & Christmas come along and you take a bite out of a pumpkin pie or a greasy NY pizza slice and you’re ready to binge. I didn’t know what eating healthy was until I met Jennifer in 2013. Before Jennifer, my diet consisted of fast food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Sometimes I would go on a “diet” and eat frozen meals that were low on calories but high on sodium or eat a salad at a Wendy’s. Now salads are good but not when you’re pouring dressing on the salad like you are literally dressing them up to go somewhere nice to eat. It was more of a soup than a salad. lol Looking back, that salad and my diet became null & void. I also had no problem telling people I’m going to McDonalds, Burger King, Taco Bell, Wendy’s, Pizza Hut, Dominos, Wings N Things, Pollo Campero, Subway, Checkers, Sonic, Jack In The Box or any local pizza joint. Of course, I would wash it down with a Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi. Nothing wrong with that right? I figured if I kept active, it would all work itself out. I also didn’t drink an ounce of water either. This had been something I had been doing since I was a kid. Water was just foreign to me.
I carried this habit once I started college and didn’t realize this was a problem until a couple of years ago and I think a lot had to do with moving to Washington D.C. There aren’t a lot of fast food joints readily available like they are in Houston, Texas or Long Island, NY. I started to notice that maybe I need to avoid fast food when I started getting weird looks about where I would want to eat. And I was like, “Why are people too good for McDonalds??? I mean Filet-O-Fish is 2 for $5 during Lent! It’s amazing!” I also noticed that I had to drive very far to get to a nearby Wendy’s or a Burger King. D.C. has a lot of fancy, trendy restaurants and this is the city where everyone has some sort of status. So why would someone with status go to a McDonalds, right? Also the people of D.C. love to flaunt their alma maters. So why would someone with a degree eat a Big Mac, right? It’s beneath them, it’s beneath many in D.C.’ers. Well to be clear, McDonalds or any fast food would be beneath the transient D.C.’ers. The locals who grew up in the area seemed to love fast food too, especially hidden gems like Horace and Dickeys. It’s the best fry fish place in DC! They also showed me the nearby Papa Johns, the hidden Checkers on Capitol Hill, and many other places where you had to be in the know. Ben’s Chili Bowl was a tourist trap and everyone who knew that I had a penchant for greasy food, told me to avoid that place. They were right, that place wasn’t anything special. lol
It took a long time for me to really assess that eating out all the time was no bueno. Once Jennifer and her mother finally pressed me to work on lowering my blood pressure to a normal level, it started to sink in a bit. I was a “walking heart attack” to my doctors and for years I managed to convince them that I would work on it. I didn’t want to take any pills and I convinced myself that if I exercised and cut some of the crap, I would lower it. I was wrong and I never lasted long on my crash diet. The numbers fluctuated and I could tell you that the bottom number was always above 120. I think the highest I ever saw my BP was 210/140. How am I still alive???
I was conditioned to believe that there is nothing wrong with loving food. I believed eating everything you had on your plate and since I wasn’t really getting body shamed, I felt no guilt, especially when I lived in Houston. I would run, lose some of the weight, and feel good about myself. There were times where I did lose a significant amount of weight but my diet would still be as bad and I would overlook it based on the numbers on the scale. Even though I felt fit and looked it, my BP was still off the charts. I didn’t think about changing my eating habits until I had severe Plantar Fasciitis. At one point, I was playing soccer, running 3 miles a day, and playing other sports with friends during the week and my body just couldn’t take it anymore. I was now 34 years old and I couldn’t run anymore. Walking was very painful. After a few weeks of inactivity, I knew then that I had to start doing things differently as I couldn’t run my weight away anymore. I reluctantly started Weight Watchers and learned from Jenny different exercises that would help build muscle. Once I started tracking down everything I ate, it finally hit me. I have been guilty of overeating and not taking the time to enjoy a well portioned meal. Once that started, I was able to focus on avoiding sugar and over indulging. No more 2nds or 3rds! It was a lengthy process but I was able to get through and see results. My blood pressure started to dip down to levels that were still high but not to the level that they were before. I’m at a constant battle of trying to keep the weight down and staying on track with dieting. It truly is a lifestyle change. I just have to always stay on track and it’s tough because of the holidays, visiting family, or just a craving that won’t go away. It’s something that I will have to tackle from now on and have the support from friends and family.
I have to give credit to Jennifer and her mother, Jenny. Jenny is all about fitness and eating right. She’s very fit and full of energy. Granted she can get upset about a minor joke but it’s all in fun. The great thing about them both is that they are understanding about when you get off track on a diet and are extremely supportive on getting you back on your feet. Of course there’s some ribbing during family events but it’s good to not feel so guilty when you get off track and gain some weight. That’s the frustrating part is when you know you’ve gone off track and notice the weight gain. This summer was a bit brutal. Family vacation to Myrtle Beach, eating whatever, then eating a lot of BBQ and some sweets throughout the months of July and August and boom, 12 pounds gained. As of now, I’ve shed about 7 pounds. I started to get back on track after Labor Day weekend and so far I’m doing well. I’m a little worried about Thanksgiving but I think I’ll be in better shape to handle the temptations.
I remember when I was a teenager that could eat whatever and would never gain weight. It was frustrating for me back then because I wanted to get bigger and I didn’t want people to assume that I was a stick. I just didn’t realize that I was burning calories consistently based on my activities. I had an idea that I was eating bad back then when I wouldn’t do much on the weekends and go to soccer practice on a Monday and feel really sluggish. I always felt a bit slower and knew that my body wasn’t in the shape it should be in until the middle of the week. I guess once I gained my Freshman 15 in college, I wish I could have educated myself on what not to eat. The idea that you could just burn off the weight and keep yourself in shape stuck with me from high school on. Now I realize that is just part of it. I hope to instill what I’ve learned the last three years to my kids and hope they can avoid all that junk. If they do eat it, I would hope that they don’t get consumed by it like I was.
I didn’t want to make this into a long post but I guess the more I think about it, there is a lot I could not ignore. I could write a long lengthy story, detailing this journey but I’ll wrap it up here. I am not patting myself in the back because I’m trying to eat better now, I would say that I’ve learned and finally embraced a new idea. Being stubborn could have cost me a heart attack. Being stubborn has left me wondering if I’ve damaged my body to the point where I might not recover. I worry about my kidneys and hope they don’t fail. I hope there will be a time where I don’t have to worry about my blood pressure anymore. I want to grow old and I hope I can get there. I hope to stay on track.
Seeking Balance While Laughing Out Loud 