Month: April 2020

Heartbroken David Just Lost 7 Years of his life

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Season 4 of 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days gets more annoying and frustrating week to week. Again, I’m stuck on this train wreck until after the Tell All. This week I’ll profile David who seems confused as to why his girlfriend Lana keeps standing him up. Why don’t his friends just tell him, “Hey David, she’s not real!” Or “Hey David, that chat room looks like it was created during the AOL chat room days and you shouldn’t trust it.” A part of me feels bad for him for traveling Pavlohrad but then apart of me is hopeful he finds Lana or some dude named Lana.

Who looks sadder? Drake or David? David because he just wasted 7 years. Drake wasted 5 years chasing Rhi Rhi. At least Drake got on Rihanna’s hit list. 😉

Last night’s show left us with a cliffhanger of David actually going to the address Lana had given him for their cruise that she never showed up to. I’m going to guess that it’s going to be an old lady who’s going to be like, “Who are you? No I don’t know that chick!!!” (in Russian) and slam the door in his face. Then David will go home and still try to find Lana on chat. Then say something dumb like, “I don’t get why Lana would do this to me.” Predictable right! Thanks TLC!

Here’s what should happen:

David takes a page from the movie Taken! He goes around Pavlohrad looking for Lana. He manages to find a number that’s associated with Lana. He speaks to a bad guy and says, “I’m going to find you asshole!” Then the bad guy will say, “Good luck American asshole!”. David reconnects with his tech buddies in the US who help him find the hideout of the Russian mob where he barges in with guns blazing. David finds the bad guy from the phone call, who confesses that Lana is not real and was a model he used from time to time. David doesn’t believe the bad guy and shoots him dead. As he’s about to leave the hideout, he sees a woman that resembles Lana. He begins following this mysterious woman then gets hit in the head. Fade to black. David loses most of his memory but remembers that he’s looking for his girlfriend Lana. A Russian cop helps him look for Lana. It turns out the cop uses David to kill people for him while fooling him that he’s close to finding Lana. Now if you’re like, this sounds like the movie Taken and Memento put together, it’s because it is! (Sounds like the movie Bloodshot as well)

Pretty much sums up David.

In conclusion, as exciting it would be to see David take justice into his hands, it won’t happen. Maybe he will meet Yolanda during the Tell All and they will hit it off. As sad and depressing it is to see Yolanda chase Williams, this would be a welcoming sight, David and Yolanda connecting based on their delusions! It worked in Silver Linings Playbook! Good luck David. One word of advice, next time give the roses and champagne to a couple that deserve it, don’t be selfish to wallow in misery. Be like Drake, get on the hit list first then chase her.

  • It’s 3:56pm.

Dear Yolanda From 90 Day Fiancé , REVERSE IMAGE SEARCH!!!

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The recent season of 90 Day Fiancé : Before the 90 Days is one of the most frustrating shows to watch on TLC and unfortunately, I’m sticking it out till the end. There are many reasons to get annoyed with the show but today I’m going to start with Yolanda. If Yolanda is not able to figure it out herself, I’m pretty sure that her daughter knows how to do a reverse image search. The problem, the producers! The producers of the show want to drag out this catfish for as long as possible. I am sure they can do a reverse image search and quickly figure out who the man in the pictures. So who is Williams and why drag it out?

Here are my two theories:

Theory 1: They are going to bring in the real person, the real “Williams” for the Tell All at the end of the season. Maybe Yolanda will finally snap out of it and realize that she’s been catfished. Reality will set in. Yolanda may not know how to handle the truth. She might go into full denial mode like Leonardo DiCaprio’s character in Shutter Island. Then TLC will do a show about Yolanda getting help on dealing with such a tragic reality in hopes of finding her a new love. Or they just might invite her back for another season like Darcey.

The real “Williams” will show up at the Tell All. Yolanda will be like, “But it’s you Williams, you’re the man I’ve been talking”, only to slapped by the host.

Theory #2: My hope is with theory #2. I hope TLC sets up Yolanda with David. They both live in Nevada, they both love emoji’s, and they both were smitten with the idea of meeting a model. These two belong together and TLC should do a spin off of these two fallen love birds only to bring them together and hopefully to marriage. If that’s not in the plans for TLC, then what are you doing???

This is the prequel to the Yolanda and David love story.
TLC’s next big hit!

In conclusion, end Yolanda’s story because there is no love at the end of this tunnel and quite frankly, it’s annoying and SAD!!! Let’s shine the light on the other couples that are becoming dumpster fires.

The Tragic Fate of the Writing Group

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I mentioned in the Pandemic Blues blog that my passion for writing stopped while I was living in Texas. There were times where my writing would come back and then I would abruptly stop. In 2006, I had moved to a new apartment in Southwest Houston. It was the first time I was living on my own and I remember it was a very lonely period in my life. I had no family in Texas and most of my friends were through my ex-girlfriend or co-workers. I was still communicating with my ex-girlfriend and we kept tabs on each other for a few years until I moved to Washington D.C. She had always suggested I get back into writing and suggested using Meetup.com to meet with a writing group. After procrastinating, I went on Meetup.com and met with a writing group that focused on poetry. The organizer of the writing group didn’t live too far from me and I was curious to see what this writing group was going to be like.

When I first moved to Houston, my ex-girlfriend got into the Creative Writing program at the University of Houston. Meeting the professors and other student writer was intimidating. I felt outmatched and didn’t understand why. Now, I realize I didn’t have the life experience and dedication to the craft as those students. Most of the students in her class were older and seemed to have had lived in independence for some time before being accepted to the program. I wasn’t ready for the program in 2004. Fast forward to the meet up group, I met John, the organizer, in the summer of 2006. John was a blue collar worker who had retired and was looking to start a writing group that focused mainly on poetry. He had the meet up at his home and introduced me to his pets. His dog was named, Mr. Dog, and his cat was named, Mrs. Cat. lol. I am not making that up. I thought it was interesting that he hadn’t given them a nickname or just a name outside of Mr. Dog or Mrs. Cat. John was very direct and had taken a poetry class prior to starting the meet up. John had confessed to me and the group that for the first time in his life, he was embracing his creativity and wanted to explore poetry. I thought it was admirable and I connected to John because I wanted to regain my lost creativity. There were three other people who jointed the group. There was another gentleman from Miami who wanted to write again and was okay with doing poetry as a medium. He had written poetry but never shared with a writing group. There was a woman who was a fan of Rumi and wanted to express her poetry to a group. There was another young guy around my age and had wanted to give poetry a try.

In the first meet up, we introduced each other and then we gave copies of our first poem to workshop to the group. Outside of that, I don’t remember much of our first meeting outside of feeling good afterwards. I remember looking forward to writing something new for the next meet up and for the first time, felt empowered to speak up with this group. I am not sure if it was because I didn’t feel intimidated with them or that this meeting felt less structured than your typical college writing workshop where the professor dictated the rules and regulations. I kid about the regulations, but I do remember one poetry professor getting angry at a student for writing poetry in essay form with paragraphs. I remember she flat out told him, we weren’t reading his work because of his formatting. I digress. I started to get to know everyone in the group and I remember John loved to do rhymes in his poetry. Although it was forced and a basic rhyme structure, it did make me want to incorporate some rhyming structure to my poetry. The guy from Miami loved to do poetry that was based on settings and the feel of being by the beach. The lady who loved Rumi was good at performing her poetry. We did have a discussion on how her performance was great but it didn’t translate on paper. She seemed annoyed with my criticism. I don’t remember much of the other guy who was in the class but he seemed pretty cool. We spent the rest of the summer meeting at John’s house. We all took turns in bringing snacks and even found snacks for Mr. Dog and Mrs. Cat.

Enter Lady X! I looked up angry old lady and this picture reminded me of her.

Everything was pretty cool until the Fall of 2006. A new member showed up to a meet up in late September. She seemed very friendly when we introduced ourselves to her and seemed very motivated to share her work with us. We began our workshop as usual, passed around the snacks, and then things went downhill really fast. I believe we were workshopping John’s new poem. I believe it was the Rumi lady that said, “Oh John, I would totally steal the line.” and shared with the group how much she loved it. We all understood what that meant except for the new lady, whom I’ll call, Lady X. I remember everyone was impressed with John’s improvement until Lady X raised her hand and said something that shook the group. She said, “Well I hope you wouldn’t steal his line! I don’t think that’s right at all.” Rumi lady clarified what she meant by “stealing the line” meant. I also defended her and stated it was a good line, nobody was actually stealing her line. Lady X seemed to calm down after that. Once we got to Lady X’s turn, she read her first poem, and we all took turns criticizing her work. I remember it being constructive criticism. Lady X took it personal. Lady X started to be defiant and stated that she didn’t feel comfortable sharing her work with her group. She then went on to let us know that if anyone “stole” her work or lines, would be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. She then told us that she was a “published” poet and took out a certificate from Poetry.com. I wanted to laugh at that moment. She was so serious about her published work. I then told her, “You know, you have to pay to publish your own work on Poetry.com right?” She was insulted by remark. I then started telling her that anyone can call themselves a published poet by paying for it. She then began to insult the rest of the group and said she didn’t feel comfortable with the group. She felt attacked and immediately left the house. We were all in shock. Her tirade lasted about 10-15 minutes. The rest of the group were shocked by everything that had happened and how it escalated quickly. We all left that John’s house that night and none of us thought this would be the last time we would ever see each other. The next day Lady X had emailed the group repeating the same sentiments from the house. John tried to diffuse the situation and unfortunately that enraged her more. As a group, we were shocked and thought she would have stopped but she continued.

John decided to stop the meet up. He didn’t feel comfortable meeting at his home and Lady X seemed to point her vitriol at John. I always wondered if she thought John was me because John never said anything to her in the house but who knows. Nobody stepped up to take over and I didn’t either. I could have looked at meeting rooms in libraries near me but I never got proactive. It all stopped with Lady X. Looking back, I feel sad that we never continued. I did invite John to my 27th birthday party. I had a kickball themed party. Very much like a Texan, John came to my birthday ready to play and made sure to bring his 6 pack. He didn’t mind playing kickball with people twenty years younger than him. He was the last person from that group that I saw after that. 14 years later, I sometimes wonder if things would have continued had Lady X not showed up or if I stepped up to take over. I wonder if it have jumpstarted me to writing again. For that brief period, I remember feeling the joy of writing and not feeling alone.

Finding an Audience

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In 2014, I would go to an open mic named Hot Broth just about every Thursday night. It was a small black box theater in a deteriorating 90’s era mall. I had started going to this mic in 2012. Very far from a good open mic but it had it’s charm. It had the potential to be a great spot for comedy but many factors prevented it from being close to decent. The mall was so desolate and nobody would even come to the AMC movie theater next it. The open mic was was in a very hidden area of the mall. There was a main stage that was bigger and allowed passerby’s to stop in if they saw a show going on. We were never allowed on the main stage. The improv students used it on some open mic nights. If the open mic had been in the main stage, we might have been able to start a following but as much as we lobbied, it never happened. Hot Broth was the perfect starter open mic for anyone looking to do comedy. Aside from not having an audience, there wasn’t a bar to get liquid courage, but you could get some beer at the CVS and sneak it in.

The small black box theater could seat up to 50 people. A lot of comics would come to this open mic first as it started early. They would go there to work on new jokes or to prepare for a later show in the area. The only people in the audience would be other comics waiting their turns and possibly a friend or two. On a good day, we would get someone doing stand-up for the first time who brought an entire group of friends to support them. Of course, the host would put them on the list right after the veterans, so the vets could have a semblance of a real show. Then the newbies would perform in front of a dwindling audience due to every comic leaving after their routine. The worst part of this room is that it would really deflate your ego. Once you figured out the inner workings of this room, you knew you needed to go up aggressive and try new jokes and really let yourself go. You couldn’t go to this room with some clever material that would be ideal for a politically correct crowd in DC. You came here and pulled no punches to get some respect. It was very entertaining to see new comics hit a brick wall with their jokes or seeing a random veteran throw their “A” material to the regulars, only to realize it’s a room full of comics. You’re not going to make any connections here but thanks for showing off your material. Comedian Ray Williams said it best, “If you make the audience laugh at the Hot Broth, it’s the only place that joke will land. If you take that same material somewhere else, be prepared to get no laughs. This place is weird and twisted and gives you a false hope of getting better. You learn to suck. As bad as it is here you can’t help but want to come back at this train wreck.”

That year, I befriended this young college kid named Matt. He had a lot of energy and it seemed like he really fed off of the vibe there. I have to admit, this kid was downright hilarious. I always enjoyed seeing him up on stage because as a newbie, he learned the ropes quick. Before the end of the year, I began hosting gigs there and it was humbling. I definitely learned a lot and it was good to lean on Matt for advice. We always talked about the potential of this room and how it had the power to compete with other shows around the city. We would agree that talented comedians would venture to this room for curiosity but would never come back due to a lack of audience. This room would range from the great comic who’s up in coming in the area to the veteran riding the coattails of great comic, to the downright terrible newbie. Newbies were terrible but watching them level up was always amazing. The support was there. Once you started noticing their names move up on the list, you knew they had earned respect from the vets. The funny thing about these newbies is that they really wanted to earn the respect from the vets at this location. It wasn’t like these comics couldn’t move up on their own but they looked at Hot Broth as a room to make it in. That just made Matt and I laugh hard. We would tell them, there are other places to go, better than Hot Broth but I guess it would require them to travel somewhere new and be surrounded by a new set of local comedians. All was good until it was announced that the entire theater would close for business in March of 2015.

  • Comedy Class without Steve Martin. A comedy class from the local library.

I quickly concocted a plan to bring an audience to Hot Broth. I decided to talk to my supervisor about starting a comedy class for the library. I had always enjoyed talking to new comics and would guide them to different rooms in the city. I figured I could translate that into a class. Now when I came into this project, I expected 5, maybe 10 people to sign up. I never expected to get over 75 people to sign up for this class. The local TV news announced this “free” class offered by the library and people took to the streets! Not really but I had to cap the registration for the class at 50. My first run at the workshop was awkward, crazy, and awesome. In the first class, most of the 50 people who registered showed up. I had an informational session, followed by guest comic, and then off to the mall we went!

The first time the “students” or “audience” showed up to Hot Broth, all of the comics waiting for the show to start were awe struck. It was the first time most of the seats in the black box theater were taken. All the comics were hyped and as was I. Matt was happy and I was happy to surprise all the regulars with a chance to perform in a show type venue. I was happy that the newbies who kept coming and were always at the bottom of the list week in and week out, finally had the opportunity to perform in front an actual audience. Even the first comic was excited, he was an out of towner from Boston who had done something with Comedy Central, and was like what an introduction to the DMV!

What happened next was totally unexpected. The 50 or so students, did not laugh at any of the jokes thrown at them. It’s as if the Hot Broth stayed the same and was now laughing at the comedians in the worst way. There’s an audience here for comedy but fuck your humor, fuck your jokes, fuck everything about you. Nobody got laughs and the few laughs came from a handful of veteran comics who brought in their “A” material, which they almost never did in that room. The mood of the comics went from excitement to disbelief. But in the midst of all of this, every comic felt like they could turn the tide, even the newbies. We were all wrong, even me.

The following week, some of the students said they wanted to try comedy since what they saw was very “amateurish”. I’ll never forget thinking the students in this workshop were very cocky. Luckily, I had brought in an OG as a guest speaker. I brought in my friend Jamel who used to do Hot Broth but moved on to bigger and better stages. He pumped up the workshop and took that same energy to Hot Broth. For Week 2, it was a different story. Less comics showed up this time around and the ones who were there, were coming to exact revenge for their poor showing the week before. Jamel kicked off the show and literally kicked the stool off the stage. I hosted that night and I remember seeing the names of some of my students ready to perform towards the end of the show. To my surprise, all of the comics, veteran and new, killed that night. It was a great feeling seeing each of them go up and make the audience laugh. It felt like the aura of the room was transformed to something I knew we all had inside of us. We worked the shit out of the room that night. Without being told to do better, here they were showing the same audience members from a week ago that we weren’t just beginners, they were fucking comedians. It was like all the comics banded together and just gave each other the juice. The JUICE! lol I don’t know what that means but it was special. The students who signed up on the list didn’t go up on stage that night. Cause they knew better!!! THEY KNEW BETTER!!! Talking all that shit and then backing out like punks! Fuck y’all losers. lol

Juice! Do you remember this Tupac classic???

In Week 3 of the workshop, some of the students admitted that they felt intimidated performing that evening and decided to try another time. It was the validation I wanted for my comedian friends but at the same it put my workshop into perspective. Oh shit, what the fuck am I teaching here? lol. The next two workshops were more defined and I made sure to bring in a Powerpoint presentation, which the students appreciated. The last two shows at Hot Broth were a mixture of the first and second week. I saw more comics pop into the show because of the audience and it was fun while it lasted. Once the workshop was over, it was like word got out that Hot Broth was actually worth going to. It was fun to see it go back to its normal state with a whole bunch of outsiders thinking they were getting an audience. Nah, man, this was a month long adventure mainly for the ride or die Hot Broth-ers!

My Forrest Gump Moments

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(I started a draft of this blog in 2017, I’ve decided to publish some embarrassing moments and will add more in the future.)

Sometimes I’ll be deep in thought and an embarrassing moment will pop in my head.  These are the type of embarrassing moments you would want to forget but somehow your brain has just decided to make millions of copies of such awkward moments so that you NEVER FORGET!  I wish I could forget some and every time one of these memories pops into my head, I just want to disappear.  It could have been a memory that happened 20 years ago, but it still makes me want to disappear.  I guess I think that someone who may witnessed that moment may still remember it and the thought of that embarrasses me. Weird.  Sometimes I forget that most people don’t have good memory, but still, that might be a moment that they have never forgotten.

This will be an ongoing blog as I’m sure I will have the guts to write out some of my most embarrassing moments in hopes that they will disappear from my memory banks once they are out.  I’m guessing that’s something a therapist would say. lol.  Glad I didn’t spend any money for that advice.  I write, “My Forrest Gump Moments” because I call myself an idiot looking back at those moments as if I were Forrest Gump.  Does that make any sense?  Well let’s get to my highlights, shall we?

Turtle Hook Jr. High School – Soccer – Fall 1992

I was a defenseman on the Turtle Hook Jr. High School soccer team.  We were a very good team that year.  I think we went undefeated?  I don’t remember.  So we had a couple of preseason games and in one game, we were playing against a pretty good team and every time we scored a goal, the other team would score.  It was a very close game and we ended up in overtime.  After a 6-6 tie, we scored again.  We were up by 1 goal with 2 minutes left in the game.  The coach told everyone to do whatever you can do to stall the game.  One of the older kids said, “Yeah if you can, kick the ball out of bounds!  Hell, kick it into one of the backyards!!!”  He kept yelling the same thing. “Kick it into a backyard!!!”  I took that advice literally.  I somehow ended up with the ball near our goal and turned to someone’s backyard and kicked the ball 50 yards into someone’s backyard.  It was blatant and looking back, I felt like that’s not what that kid really meant.  I took it literally and I remember after the kick everyone looking at me with shock, like they didn’t think I would actually do that.  The opposing team’s coach was furious and the referee called the game.  I guess he didn’t care to use a replacement ball since the clock was winding down.  My team won and my team cheered.  But then everyone kind of looked at me like, “Did you really just you do that?”  I shrugged it off and scratched my head because I did exactly what my teammate was yelling about.  Some of my team took it in stride and others were like, “He literally kicked the ball into someone’s yard on purpose!” It took some time to think about but I remember thinking, I should have just kicked the ball to the far end of the field.  I mean, if I can kick a ball 50 yards, then it shouldn’t have been so blatant to kick the ball out of bounds when I’m standing near the out of bounds line. Oh well. This memory randomly popped into my head recently as I had really forgotten about it until my brain was like, “Look at what I found!!!”

Turtle Hook Jr. High School – Fall 1992

After soccer season ended, I was enjoying this new found freedom of junior high school.  In elementary school, you are stuck in the same class, same teacher with the same group of kids all year round.  In junior high, I now had new sets of classmates for every period.  Granted there would be some kids you would have the same classes with but this was a whole new world for me.  There were six elementary schools and two junior high schools in my district.  So having kids from two other elementary schools, meant getting to know another part of my town that I hadn’t known about. I enjoyed making new friendships and possibly having my first girlfriend.  (I smiled while writing that sentence because I seemed bent on accomplishing that goal.)

It didn’t take me long to develop a crush.  I happened to notice a girl name M.  She was very pretty with jet black curly hair. I remember looking to see if she had a boyfriend.  She was a year older than me and I would scout her locker and sometimes would catch a glimpse of her going to class.  I would follow her routine from a distance, just like a creeper, never giving myself away.  One day, I remember leaving my last class at the bell and rushed to get on the bus. I guess I did it to be cool and slick. I left early to get out of the homework assignment.  That day I noticed that M was one of the first students to leave school.  I think it took a few weeks before I approached her but I always felt like this was the time to say something to her.  What do I say?  What do I do?  How do I react to what she says?  I had played this simulation in my head for weeks.  Sometimes I was determined to say something and my nerves, my anxiety would shoot up.  Sometimes she wasn’t there or I chickened out, only to beat myself later for not having the guts to say something.  Then one winter afternoon, I decided to say something to her.  I remember walking right behind her and I thought about backing out like I had done previous times but this time, I said this is it.  My hands started shaking visibly and I remember being startled by that.  I asked meekly, “Excuse me.”  She didn’t hear me, then I said it again louder and she turned around.  I froze and didn’t know what to do. I then said, “What’s your name?”  She replied, “M”.  I was so nervous that I remember saying, “Oh….ok.” and walked away to my bus.  I felt so stupid and was like great, that’s how I’ll be remembered, “The guy who came up to me and asked for me name and walked away. lol”

A few weeks later, I told my friend Tonya about my crush to M.  I was embarrassed in making that confession and I remember Tonya laughing at me. I remember feeling the pain of embarrassment again and just decided to forget about that situation.  Spring would start and then I would go onto the start of running track and field. While changing for practice one day in the Spring, a kid named James announced in the locker room, “Hey Kerby, you have two girls looking for you in the hallway.” All the guys in the locker room cheered and jeered me.  I thought it was a prank as I didn’t know any girl, let alone two girls looking for me. So I asked him if he was playing around.  He said he wasn’t, so I got ready and went to the hallway.  As soon as I got to the hallway, I saw my friend Tonya, and became annoyed.  In that moment, I forgot about the second person. A little annoyed, I said, “What do you want?” until I saw M standing right behind her. Tonya had said that I had blushed. I remember smiling but looking down. I sometimes wonder if it’s the same look my son makes when he’s a little embarrassed.  His checks get bright red.  So I remember sheepishly saying, hi.  She then said, I heard you like me.  I said yeah.  She said, you’re cute and I would like to go out with you but my parents won’t let me have a boyfriend right now.  I remember smiling because it didn’t feel like an immediate rejection.  It was a good rejection. I even asked her, “So if you’re parents would let you have a boyfriend, you would go out with me?”  She was like, yeah.  I felt good but sad at the same time.  She would say hello to me from time to time and I always responded back.  One day as I was rushing to Science class, a piece of paper kept falling out of my text book and I kept jamming it back.  As I got to class, the paper fell out and landed right as I was taking a step and I fell on my ass.  Everyone in the hallway started laughing.  Getting up in embarrassment, I noticed M.  She laughed at me but then winked as she went into class. After that year, her family moved away and I never saw her after that.

Turtle Hook Jr. High School – Soccer – Fall 1993

A year later, I was captain of the soccer team and some of my teammates did not like my style of play.  I played hard even in practice but there was one time when I took it too far.  Looking back, I should have never done this to my own teammate.  The offense was running 2 vs. 1 drills against the defense.  I knew what players to take it easy on and which players to play with a higher intensity.  I was on defense for this drill and from a distance, I saw a girl I had a crush on.  She was with her best friend, who’s younger brother was on the team.  I felt the need to showcase my skills as a soccer player.  So when the 2 on 1 drill started, I immediately took off and chased the player with the ball.  The kid was a year younger and a hell of a lot shorter than me.  I didn’t give that poor kid a chance to dribble with the ball 5 yards before I decided to barrel into him and pushing him into the ground.  It wasn’t a football tackle but I laid into that kid so hard that he had grass and dirt all over him after he flew in the air and rolled on the ground a couple of times.  The kids who didn’t like me immediately jumped up and down and were yelling at the coach to do something.  They were all mad at me and was like, “This is fucking practice!!! What the fuck are you doing?!?!?”

They were right. I had no reason to put that kid down like that.  It was stupid and for what to impress some girl?  When I looked at the sideline, I could see she felt bad for the kid and I tried to shrug it off like it was practice.  The coach sided with me but I think that’s because I was one of his favorite players but there was no way I should have knocked that kid down like that.  The size advantage alone should have stopped me from doing it but unfortunately, that girl came by and well…it was stupid.  Not like Rudy playing his heart out like in the movie Rudy but some idiot like Forrest Gump.  FORREST WHAT ARE YOU DOING????  I have always looked back at that memory and it still makes me feel bad.  Even after all these years, I regret that and I hope I can make that apology to him. I may get, “Man, that’s no big deal, I forgot about it.” I truly wonder if that’s the case because I still think about that till this day.  I hope to make amends one day and when I do, I’ll write and update the blog.

Washington D.C. – April 11, 2013

I decided to skip ahead and give an honorable mention a moment from adult life. I was getting my first paid comedic gig on this date.  I was heading to Bethesda, MD to perform at a show at an Irish bar called the Harp and the Fiddle.  I was nervous because my name was on the flyer and had no idea what to expect at the show.  I started to get my bearings in the comedy world at this time.  I got off of work, got dressed, and drove to Union Station.  I took the Red Line up to Bethesda.  I remember feeling cool and calm heading to the train station.  It was a warm day but it wasn’t hot.  Once I got on the train, I remember starting to get nervous.  I was feeling very tense and was thinking about my routine. I don’t remember if the lady directly across from me got on at a stop after Union Station but she noticed me at some point in the trip. She was an older white lady, who looked like she hit the gym after work and was finally going home.

She asked me if I was okay.  I said I was alright and tried to play it cool even though I was sweating profusely.  I decided to tell her after a few seconds of silence.  I told her that I was going to perform at my first paid comedic gig.  She was excited and was like, “Wow you’re a comedian? That’s great! Oh you’ll do fine.  You have nothing to be nervous about.”  I felt comforted by those words and was expecting her to ask me a question about how I got into it or who I identified with in the comedy world.  Instead she didn’t say anything after that.  If I had headphones, I would have put it on to focus but I didn’t bring them with me. After another stop, she asked me another question. With a sly smile, she ask, “Well, aren’t you going to tell me a joke?”.  I was caught off guard and wasn’t sure what to say.  I was caught up in repeating my routine that I didn’t even know if I should try my routine with her or give her one joke.  After thinking about it, I was like, okay fine. I started to tell her about my brother’s Facebook post about his cancer.  I then dropped the punchline of my joke.  It was the one joke that no matter where I said it in the routine, it had gotten laughs 99 percent of the time.  The one time it didn’t was in the room I hated the most on U Street.  Luckily, a comedian bursted out laughing in the silence of a packed house and took it as a win that night.  I guess I was feeling like I was going to get, “Oh that’s funny or that’s good.”  Even a flat, “That’s good.” would have been fine.  Instead, she got very upset.  Her smile disappeared and she looked at me with disdain.  She was like, “You shouldn’t joke about cancer! I hope you stop telling that joke. I survived cancer myself and if you keep telling this joke after today, I hope you get hit by a car.”  The silence was deafening at that point.  I should have walked away but I didn’t.  Now I really felt nervous about the show.  We sat across from each other in complete silence for a long ride to the next stop.  She got off at the next stop and I felt relief for a brief period.  I smiled at the fact that I had not expected that reaction but when you’re in comedy, you need to prepare for all types of reactions.  At first, I felt like I should have had a quick comeback but then I realized, this was not the place to do such, had it been a show, I would have had to say something back. I went on to perform at the bar show that night.  There was a large crowd of people at the bar but one the show started, it dwindled down to a small group.  It’s the way of life for a comedian.  Get hyped for a big crowd only for it to dwindle to a handful. I performed and it wasn’t great but it wasn’t a bomb either.  I got my first $20 for a comedy gig and didn’t feel like it was deserved. I did feel it was deserved for the train ride. lol It was a $20 I always kept in a drawer until one day Jennifer spent it without realizing its significance.  If I ever hit the stage again and somehow get paid, I’ll make sure to frame that fucker.

Pandemic Blues

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Starting a blog post on a Saturday is one of the last things I thought I would do to highlight my night before the pandemic.  Now that I feel quarantined to the world, I decided I didn’t want to browse through Netflix, Hulu, Prime, or HBO to find something to watch or re-watch.  I thought about writing tonight.  I thought about finally putting some ideas into my blog.  It didn’t help that I just paid for my new subscription to this site and haven’t written anything since 2018.  I didn’t write anything on this blog last year.  Not even a little blurb about something interesting in my life in 2019 but I’ll start tonight.

Earlier, I saw some videos on Texas.  I feel like there was something that I did leave behind in Houston.  I moved to the DC area over 10 years ago and I finally admit that I truly did leave something behind. I always saw myself as a writer, even as a kid, and I have been ignoring it for a long time.  I guess I lost the touch or passion for writing a year or two after moving to Houston.  I thought about becoming a published writer or poet and then I just decided to ignore this ability.  I guess it stopped being fun when I felt the pressure to produce something with it. I would write here and there. As sudden as the urge would start to write, it would stop. Now that I think about the mortality of my parents, my siblings, Jennifer and the kids, I sometimes wonder what happens if this is it.  I don’t want to think about it but it seems to hit a little home when I see the stories of the infected in New York.  The numbers seem very public but it’s scary to not know who’s been infected near you.  I now start to realize the risk I take every time I take a step outside.  It’s just weird.  I thought it would pass when I was first asked to work from home.  Now I wonder what will it be like when we do go back to “normal”.

Today, I start a blog.  Hopefully it will continue.  Hopefully I finish writing a story I have had in my mind since 2003.  I did start it on Myspace but I believe it has been erased.  I’m sure I can re-write it and who knows, maybe it will be worth finishing. lol

I will focus on some thoughts I’ve wanted to write for some time and just feared that it was too personal.  For those reading this, I hope you enjoy.

Quick tidbit.  When I managed my first location, my co-workers and I were very close with one another.  I have to admit, it probably was the best time to manage until things slowly fell apart.  Looking back, lack of experience, lead to things escalating quickly.  It saddens me when I look back but all good things do come to an end.  Maybe that’s something else to write about.  Anyways, I remember my co-workers and I would play random games on the computers to pass the time at the reference desk or the circulation desk.  We came up on the game Pandemic 2.  We were all trying to infect the world in order to win the game. We would come very close but Madagascar was always the only part of the world that wouldn’t get infected.  None of use ever beat it until someone from work figured it out through a message board.  Once we all did it, that was the end of that game.  I believe we all moved to Farmville after that. Fitting how I finally saw the movie Madagascar today with the family.