Month: October 2016

Six years ago, I found the courage to go up on stage, tell jokes, and have no one laugh.  Well to be honest, I did get one laugh, when I tapped the microphone and asked if it was on.  It was a hacky thing to do but in the midst of a horrible set I had to say it.  I was drawing empty stares instead of laughs.  I didn’t invite any friends to watch me that night and I was glad I didn’t.  After the show was over, I wanted to find someone who could offer me some sort of hope that it wasn’t all that bad.  I asked the host and some other comics what they thought of my set. LOL!  Rookie mistake.  They didn’t say anything harsh but their body language and hesitation to find something nice to say was putting salt on a wound.  I had wished I hadn’t approached anyone and left it alone but I needed something or a reason to think it wasn’t a mistake trying to get up on stage.

I left to my depressing apartment in despair, comforted by my two cats and was like, Well, at least I can say that I tried stand-up and that’s all that really mattered. Right?  At least, that’s what I told myself for the next two days.  I wanted to do better.  I wanted to get up on stage again.  I wanted to get up there and “Wow” the audience.  I felt inside that I could do that. When I started to feel confident, my doubts would come back because I can’t shake the nerves. I get very nervous when speaking to an audience like most people, I stumble on my words, visibly shake, so how am I supposed to tell a good joke or a set of jokes for 5 minutes???

I thought about it a lot and decided to give it one more try with the help of my best friend Darryl.  I wrote out my routine and he helped me find some punchlines.  I invited a couple of friends to watch me and once I did that, the pressure really took hold of me.  For days, I was shaking, nervous, anxious, ready to cancel and walk away but I pushed through.  I made it to the venue, RFD’s Awesome Thursday in Washington DC and signed up.  The host, Ralph Cooper, put me up, I did my set, I got comfortable when I heard the laughs, continued my routine, and got off stage like I was the next up and coming comedian.  It was a high that I wanted to share with everyone.  It was a release that felt so good even after all the tension from the days prior to the show.  After coming down from that high, I wanted to write and do another routine.  I gave myself a couple of weeks but I was ready to get back on stage.  It was quite different from my very first time up on stage but I learned later that with the support of friends and family, it could jump start your way into comedy.

My first year was up and down.  I went about once a month to perform and watched a lot of shows at RFD.  Some of my performances I felt good about and some of the others not so much but the energy was there.  I felt the creativity and was supportive of everyone who would go up on stage.  All the comics were very supportive and I expected to meet a mean comic but that has never really happened.  The hosts of the Awesome Thursday show were very supportive and cut out the bs.  You knew where you stood and when you leveled up, you knew you were on your way.  I credit a lot to Mr. Cooper for being approachable, recognizing the amount of work you put in, and making Awesome Thursdays a great show.  At that time, I loved recording my sets and sharing them online.  My friend, Darryl, got up on stage too and was amazing to watch.  He had fun with it and it was great when we both performed on the same night.  I made a lot of new friends and was excited to tell people that I do comedy.  I liked saying I was a comedian at that time and it was a badge of honor I liked to share with anyone who might have cared.  I felt a close connection to all the comics and wanted to learn from them. I liked seeing them perform and when they killed it, it was great to say, “Nice set!”  You could see the expression on their faces that they did the right thing to do comedy.

I never found consistency on my first year because I was stubborn and afraid.  I was stubborn because I didn’t want to repeat a routine and never learned to work on a joke or a routine until Year 2 or 3.  I was afraid of going to other rooms outside of RFD.  I stuck with what I was comfortable with for that entire first year.  When the anniversary came of my first time going up on stage, I was surprised that I was still doing it.

Year 3 was the year everything started to change.  I started to look at other rooms outside of DC, outside of Chinatown.  I finally set my mind to going to other rooms and checking out other comics.  RFD’s Awesome Thursdays had become a much harder place to get a spot.  I found myself wanting more stage time and I didn’t want to wait a few weeks.  I started going to The Comedy Spot in Ballston and checking out rooms in the U Street corridor.  I started to go to more open mics but I didn’t feel like I was making more progress.  It was until the start of 2012, that I had made the determination to make myself a better comic and to learn as much as I can.  I started going almost daily to open mics.  Even though my work schedule was hectic, I still managed to get out there and perform.  I was finally building a routine and saw the difference in how I was performing.  My confidence started to shoot up and I started to get more respect from the working comics.  I was putting in the work and realized that I could do better.

There were some highs and lows in Years 3, 4, and 5.  I’ll just go ahead and lump them together.  I knew most of the local comics and was well-versed in the open mics in the area.  My routines were good but not solid.  I did kill at one showcase but I never got booked for more shows.  I didn’t like the idea that I had to buddy up or beg to get on a show.  I just figured talent alone should do that.  That was another stubborn thing but you do have to put yourself out there for people to notice you and I didn’t really bother putting in an effort.  I met Jennifer doing comedy and asking to get on her show when she put out an open call.  We wouldn’t be together had she not put me on her show.  I bombed on that show, BTW.  Overall, I became friends with some comics and lost some of those friendships as well.  It was weird and I wasn’t sure if it was because Jennifer was posting pictures of our dates, week to week. I had heard that some comics couldn’t believe we were dating.

I started my own comedy class through my job, the library, and it was overwhelming at first.  I had a lot of help from everyone I reached out to.  I still continue to run the class today.  It is fun when I have a student really go forward with comedy but I’ve been frustrated by the lack of interest of others.  If only I could get people who pay hundreds of dollars to go to the Improv for a comedy class to come to mine for free.  I’ve met some who want to get up on stage once they learn the secrets to stand-up. I don’t believe in shortcuts.  You just have to go up on stage to begin your journey.

Today, I find myself at a crossroad with comedy.  I want to leave it alone and walk away.  A part of me just wants it to be a chapter of my life that I can look back on but a part of me thinks I should continue with the path.  Sometimes I feel something telling me not to walk away from it.  I stopped recording my sets and pretty much have ceased to tell anyone about my shows or any upcoming shows.  I don’t perform as much, it’s been stalled for the moment. I still teach my comedy class through the library and I eventually post on Facebook the comedy showcase but I’m not expecting people to show up.  That’s the only time I really perform now, is at the library comedy showcase.   I’ve stopped trying to build myself up.  I guess for me it’s frustrating when you put a lot of work into something and you have to put things on hold for the moment.  I would like to get some consistency in the future and maybe get the opportunity to perform at the Improv.  I think that would be the end game for me.

The positive now is that I don’t get as nervous as I used to, I’ll get nervous right as I’m about to go up on stage.  I don’t lose sleep thinking about my routine anymore.  I like that I don’t feel too much pressure and that’s the major plus side of comedy now versus six years ago.  I actually enjoy performing now because my time is limited.  I do my best to have fun with it because I know it may be some time before I go back up on stage.  Unlike six years ago, I had the freedom to go to mics every night of the week if I wanted to.  Now that I have my family, it’s when I have free time to go and that window is very very small!  I wish I would have more time to practice my routine as it would help me have confidence to get on a booked show or if I’m invited to do a show, I know I’ll be ready.  I sometimes miss being around the comics to feel like I’m part of the community, lately I’ve been feeling like an outsider based on the fact that I’m not out there anymore.  I like seeing when comics post about their successes or even failures.  I don’t want them to fail but I like it when the comedy community rallies behind them to keep going.  I sometimes get new friend requests of new comics and sometimes see that some who started around the same time I did, no longer do comedy.  When I do perform, I do see some glimmer of hope when I get a laugh or if my routine goes well but then it goes dark when I realize it may be some time before I perform again.  I do enjoy teaching the class as it gets me excited to see them go and try comedy.  It’s nice to see people light up about their performances in class and seeing their progress online.

I’m much more grounded now and I realize that some of the jokes I made six years ago are jokes I would probably never utter again.  I think a lot had to do with my mindset then and what I thought comedy was as a rookie.  I’ve learned that the art, the craft of comedy takes a lot of skill.  It’s not something that will be developed right away but it’s something that will stay with you forever if you’ve kept at it for a period of time.  I’ve felt the highs and felt the lows.  The funny thing is, everything in the middle of the highs and lows don’t matter.  I believe this is the one universal truth that all comics can agree to.

If this is the year I stop performing, it’s still nice to see some of the comics I’ve shared the stage with go on to do bigger and better things.  Who knows maybe one day when Nik gets older, I could tell him that I personally know the headliner comic he’s a fan of.  I do expect that to be a reality one day because I have nothing but respect and love for people who go full steam ahead with stand-up comedy.

 

I needed a catchy title and I think that pretty much sums up this post.  I met my co-worker Richard back in 2007 and worked with him through 2009, right before I left to Washington DC.  Richard was very humble, smart, a hard worker, and grew up in Southeast Houston, Texas.  If you ever had the opportunity to meet Richard, you would think he’s a very unassuming guy.  Richard was a good guy and one who was very supportive of his friends.  He would laugh at your joke even if it was really bad or corny.  He was quiet and to himself but every once in awhile he would give you a story of his past.  Whenever Richard would talk about his past, my co-workers and I would find it hard to believe that Richard was a “man of the streets” at some point in his life.  My co-worker and best friend Daisy sometimes joked about Richard’s sketchy past on our lunch break as it didn’t seem to fit his character. Any talk of his past would then be overshadowed by his love for conspiracy theories (mainly aliens), talk radio, 90’s Hip Hop, and his adoring wife, Maria.

I had moved to Houston, Texas in 2004 and by 2008, I had bought my first house in Southeast Houston.  I was familiar with most areas in Southeast mainly because that’s where I was placed when I worked for the Houston Public Library system.  Around 2008, I had talked to Richard about starting up a co-ed softball team.  I was ready to start a new team and was gauging interest with my friends.  Richard was excited and really wanted to do it even though he had never played softball before.  He was a big baseball fan like me and expressed that he could hit but not catch.  We formed a bit of a kinship because I also was not a great fielder but could hit the crap out of a softball.  We made plans to go to the park and play catch one day after work.

On a nice Fall-like day in Houston, which is rare, we made plans to go to the park.  I picked him up from his house and we drove to nearby Settegast Park.  I remember wanting to buy a house in that neighborhood but I was priced out.  Richard had always warned me about the crime in the area but I didn’t really pay it much attention.  I was fond of the neighborhood as I knew some of the local artists in the area.  I started my library career at nearby Stanaker branch and I absorbed the community I worked in.  I had been to parties in this area, I got my haircut at the nearby barbershop, played basketball at Settegast a couple of times and even celebrated my birthday there, playing kickball with my friends and family.  The area near the park had some really beautiful homes and it wasn’t very far from downtown.  The area was going through a lot of re-development and I didn’t feel threatened.  I figured I blended in.  Majority of the residents there are Hispanic and I didn’t feel like an outsider until I ordered food at a local taqueria.

Richard and I pulled up to the park.  We start playing catch on the softball field.  I remember seeing a group of guys playing basketball but I didn’t pay them much attention.  Rich and I kept throwing the ball to each other and at times I felt like the guys on the basketball court were eyeing us but I didn’t give it much thought.  After an hour, the sun started to set, Rich and I head back to the car.  I noticed the guys on the court were starting to leave as well.  I put the bat and gloves in the trunk.  Rich and I are talking as we head into my car.

I turn on the car and see the guys from the basketball court get into their cars.  The first car heads out of the parking spot and parks by the entrance/exit of the parking lot. The second car moves towards the first car and slowly moves to the back of my car.  At first, I’m puzzled and was like, Why is this idiot parked behind my car?  I was surprised that the car wasn’t moving and I start to get frustrated.  Immediately, Richard tells me to look forward and to grab my phone from my pocket.  He starts instructing to play with my phone, to act like I’m sending a text on my lap.  I was puzzled at first and then he yells at me to keep messing with my phone.  Richard then opens my glove box and starts messing with his phone as well.  Richard then tells me to look down at my phone and then to slowly look back on my left shoulder.  While I do this, he passes me something from the glove box.  He also starts looking towards the back of the car and tells me to relax and just act like you’re preparing for them to come out of the car. I was in shock and started to understand the severity of the situation.  Both cars had dark tinted windows on their vehicles, so I couldn’t see what was going on inside their cars and it was clear that both cars were in communication with one another.  I was nervous and realized that someone with a gun may come out of the car behind us to rob us.  I didn’t know what else to do until Richard yelled at me to keep playing with my phone.  Right after that, I glanced at the driver side mirror and saw both cars slowly moving out of the parking lot.  I was scared and immediately asked Richard if those guys were going to rob us.  He responded with a yes and began to smile.  He then chuckled and was like man, you almost blew it!  I told him that I had no idea what to do.  Richard then told me that he needed me to play with the phone and that he opened the glove compartment to make it seem like we both had guns.  Richard wanted to give them the impression that we were loading our guns and that we were going use them when they walked towards the car.

 

Stunned, I asked, ...And they bought it???  Richard said, I guess so.  Let’s get out of here man.  On the drive back, Richard kept laughing at me and repeated how he wished I could have seen my face!  I laughed but was not comfortable with the idea that we just bluffed our way out of a possible robbery or car jacking.  Richard didn’t seem phased by the situation and started to ask softball questions.  We talked about catching and defensive positioning in softball but my mind was still in a state of shock.  I drove humbled by the fact that I underestimated the neighborhood I was in and underestimated Richard’s street smarts, which saved my ass.  I wanted to ask Richard how he was able to react to the situation the way he did but I decided I would ask him the next day at work as I didn’t want to think about it anymore.

As I dropped Richard off, I asked, What would have happened if they got out of the car?  His response was, We would have been robbed Kerby!  He walked away with his signature smile and chuckled as he went inside of his home.  The next day, I asked Richard, how he managed to get us out of that situation and he just smiled.  Oh Kerby, don’t worry about it man.  He never gave me a concrete answer.  I was hoping that he would have told me that some OG from Macario Garcia Drive gave him the Gangsta Degree of Magnolia Park.  He never did talk about that day and whenever I would tell people about his street smarts, he would smile and chuckle.  He never jumped into the conversation to make fun of me but just kept to himself, almost like he really wanted to distance himself from that persona.  Once I moved to D.C., we didn’t really talk much.  He’s not on Facebook and if he was he would have faded into those categories of people I used to see often but now I click to see what’s new.  This memory of Richard will never go away as I’m reminded of how savvy people can be in certain situations.